Endlessly
by destielshipper
Summary: AU: Sequel to Forbidden. Teacher and student no longer, Dean and Castiel are away and living in California. With a happy and healthy relationship still going strong nothing can ruin them or can it?
1. Chapter 1

California is a beautiful state and Dean and Castiel were hopelessly in love with it. Four years, eight months and forty six days ago they moved into their apartment and settled into their new life. Four years together and they were still going strong, they had any typical relationship. They fought, bickered, laughed, loved, and enjoyed the time they had together because they were meant to be.

The University of California, San Francisco School of Medicine accepted Castiel with open arms when he received an A and B's. Before he had received the results, Castiel went to prom dressed in a smart suit and black tie that made Dean's mouth water in desire. Castiel took Jo as his partner while Balthazar took Pamela. It would be the final night the five of them would be together and it was a night filled with laughs, alcohol, and tears from Jo and Pamela. Castiel didn't regret going and went home to Dean that night full of alcohol and happiness.

Their departure from Washington was a day full of surprises as they packed the Impala with their clothes and possessions and stood in front of Gabriel, Anna, Sam, Jess, and Daniel. Sam after many weeks of persuading and reasoning with had come around to the idea of his older brother dating a younger man. Sam's first meeting with Castiel was awkward as they faced each other and shook hands. A few words were exchanged and Dean along with Jess could only look on and cringe.

"It's only two states away" Castiel murmured when Anna hugged him tight.

"You call me as soon as you get there!" she cried clinging to him.

They left Washington after Castiel said his goodbyes and promises to Balthazar that he would call and come see him soon. Balthazar looked on looking watery eyed and embarrassed by this little fact. It broke Castiel's heart to leave his one true best friend but it was for the best and for his future.

Four years into the future, Balthazar and Castiel are still good friends but with Balthazar travelling and living up to his single life, they rarely saw each other and talked more on the phone.

Castiel was now in his final year of medical school and things looked brighter than ever but no one has the best luck forever and one little change can make a huge difference.

**~0~**

Dean was pouring his morning coffee when he heard Castiel swear very loudly and land out of bed with a thump.

"I'm late!" Castiel shouted coming to the bedroom door and glaring at him.

"No you're not, it's not even nine, Cas" Dean said glancing at their clock.

"Yes and I told my professor I would be in at half eight to go through a test, shit!" he shouted angrily. "This is your fault"

"I apologise for having sex with my boyfriend all night"

"I told you I had to be up early!"

"You spread your legs for me" Dean muttered turning to face him and sipping it. "You loved it, baby"

"No" he scowled looking in the mirror.

"You did, I got to say for our ages…we're bloody good"

"I'm twenty two" he said smugly.

"I'm a lovely thirty before you call me an old man…again!" he said with a frown.

Castiel smirked for a moment before flattening his hair.

"You look sexy"

"I look fucked out"

"It's because you were fucked out"

"For nine hours, Dean? I'm sore!" he growled.

"I lied, I'm not sorry at all for making love to my frankly gorgeous boyfriend who I like to have sex with" Dean said with a smile. Castiel rolled his eyes hiding his own smile and marched over picking up his bag.

"I still blame you, assbutt" he muttered and went to storm out.

"Cas? Castiel!" he called over to him watching him stop and turn around giving him a wounded puppy face. Castiel knew the only time Dean called him by his first name was when he was in his bad books. Dean held out his hand for him and waited for him to come over and take it looking up at him.

"Take a deep breath" he instructed watching him inhale and exhaled softly. "Relax! You're making me edgy, Cas, it's university and you're in your final year. I'm sure Tyler will be okay about you being late"

"I know" he murmured pressing his forehead against his shoulder. "I'm just nervous about the test"

"It'll be okay, you're going to be amazing"

"Are you going the garage today?"

Dean nodded once giving him a soft kiss and nuzzling his cheek gently. "I'll see you later"

"I'll cook?"

"You bet your ass you will" Dean said playfully shoving him away. Castiel smiled walking away and out of the apartment heading towards the university. Dean sighed when the apartment door clicked shut and it went silent. He turned on the radio letting the warm voice of the man talk as he collected his work clothes and got dressed. Dean sacked in the teaching and now worked at their local garage. On Tuesday and Thursday, Dean will teach history to adults and sometimes teenagers in the local high school. It's enjoyable and gives Dean a chance to do both. Recently, Dean had been given the job as manager from his own boss, Joshua; he was getting old and tired.

Dean was overjoyed by this and took the job in full stride. It was good money and was earning them both a living to get by on. Dean looked on at the rumpled bed and smiled softly. They had a healthy relationship and Dean was thankful their little spark was shining bright. Their sex was still amazing and even though they knew every bit of each other, it was still fun to find different ways and to fuck in different places.

He glanced over to the small black and white bundle on a little cat bed in the corner and walked over nudging it.

"Come on, Gem, time to get up" he said peering down at their one year old kitten. She was black all over with bright blue eyes; Dean got her for Castiel on their third anniversary. Gem looked up and meowed softly.

"Have to feed you and go, so come on" he called walking out and hearing her little bell tinkle as she followed him out. Dean knew she didn't understand but still talked to her anyway.

Dean scooped cat food in a bowl and wrinkled his nose at the smell.

"When did I become so domestic?" he murmured shaking his head and going to get his overalls on.

**~0~**

Castiel walked into the café and looked over to the small table and smiled seeing his friend, Lily Grace, sipping coffee. He dropped down on the seat and met her disapproving gaze.

"Tyler will be furious"

"I know, it's Dean's fault"

Lily narrowed her eyes placing her coffee down to regard him.

"Dean, the imaginary boyfriend"

"He isn't imaginary, Lily, I have already explained this! Just because you haven't met him doesn't mean he's not real"

"How long have we been friends?"

"Around a month?"

"No, two months and two weeks" she said with a sniff. "I haven't even seen him"

"You live across town, Lily, and Dean is private, he's mine, and he's away from medical school" he said looking her up and down. Castiel met Lily when he was placed with her. Lily is new to the university after joined later, she spent more time doing nursing and redoing certain exams before joining UCSF and meeting him.

Lily snorted brushing back her dyed brown curls and shrugged. "I'm meant to be one of your best friends, you're one of mine"

"You are! You're never going to let this go are you?"

"Never"

Castiel rolled his eyes at her and looked up at the waitress who brought over his regular coffee. Lily sighed looking away from him; Castiel watched her and despite his own sexuality thought of her as beautiful. Lily had dyed brown curls cascading down her back, big brown eyes framed by curled eye lashes, and a small sweet smile.

"You are one of my good friends, Lily, and not even Michael has met Dean and I have known him longer"

"Just…let me see him…please?" she said with pleading eyes. "Or I will continue to think he is imaginary or your cat"

"My cat?"

"Yes, bestialityis rapid these days"

"You are truly disgusting, Lily"

Lily smirked finishing the rest of her coffee. "Your decision, sweetheart"

Castiel closed his eyes and shook his head for a long moment. "Fine, I have to go see him in his garage at lunch"

"Seriously?"

"If it stops you thinking I am dating and having sex with my cat then yes"

Lily laughed grabbing her bag and beckoning at Castiel to follow her as they went to the lab. Castiel loved medical school. He loved learning about the human body, how it works, learning how to fix, mend, treat, and generally become his dream. He sent regular updates to Gabriel and Anna who loved hearing about his life in university.

Anna now lived in her own little apartment with her friend, Rachel, and Gabriel lived in their old house on his own.

It hit 12.30pm when Castiel met Lily outside; he looked up to the bright blue sky and sighed. It was the middle of April and California was already edging towards a hot summer.

"How far away?"

"Fifteen minutes" he said leading the way as he headed towards the garage. Lily walked in step with him.

"So, you have been with this guy for four years?"

"Yes, nearly five years in a few months' time" Castiel said smiling.

"Wow that's a long time!" she said amazed and fifteen minutes later they arrived at their destination. Castiel moved ahead of her and stepped inside scanning the area.

"Dean?" he called banging on the Mercedes in the garage.

Dean slid out looking up at him between his legs. "Well here's a familiar sight"

"What?"

"My head in between your legs" he said with a small smile.

"Hilarious" Castiel said dryly. Dean pushed up and looked over to Lily who was staring at him open mouthed.

"Who's this?"

"Lily, my friend" he said looking over to her and smirking. "He's my cat"

"What?" Dean said looking over at him confused.

"Personal private joke" he replied pressing a hand to his chest and kissing him sweetly. "I came to see you"

"For what?" Dean said wrapping his arms around his waist.

"What do you want for dinner?"

"You couldn't text?"

"Dean, every time I text you reply "Whatever you feel like" and when I do…you turn your nose up at it"

Dean rolled his eyes and looked up at the ceiling for a few moments.

"Burgers"

"Again?"

"Let's get takeout" he murmured with a smirk.

"Okay" Castiel murmured pressing his lips against his looking into his eyes. "Gem okay?"

"Yeah, she'll play with her string" Dean replied amused. His eyes flicked over to Lily watching them in surprised fascination.

"You better go"

"I know" Castiel murmured and smiled when Dean moved his head to press a gentle kiss under his ear. "I'll see you at six if you're done"

"Hopefully" Dean replied with a sigh looking back to the Mercedes. "The owner is a bastard"

Castiel chuckled and nodded. "Burgers again, California has struck your heart"

"Yep" Dean said with a wink watching him walk out and join Lily. Dean nodded at her while she gaped for a long moment before joining Castiel.

"Holy shit!" she cried when they walked down the street. Castiel laughed lightly taking out his bottle water and sipping it. "He's real"

"I don't have sex with animals, well apart from him"

"He's gorgeous! How old is he?"

"Thirty" he murmured with a hint of pride.

Lily looked back at the garage and swallowed hard. "You're seriously lucky, he reminds me of…Mark"

Castiel stopped looking over to her. "Your dead childhood sweetheart?"

"Yes, he died in a car accident" she said looking back to Castiel. "He treated me the same way he treated you back then"

"Oh" he breathed and shifted feeling uncomfortable. "I am sure you'll find someone like him again, Lily, there is someone for everyone"

Lily nodded looking down at the ground and back up to Castiel with hooded emotionless eyes.

"Yes, I will"

Castiel smiled at her and continued to walk on while Lily looked back to the garage. Her heart skipped a little beat and she bit her lip contemplating. Thoughts and musings flooded though her mind and she exhaled following after Castiel. Lily hated her own mind but it was so damaged already with her past.

**~0~**

Castiel was exhausted when it finally hit 6pm and he waved Lily off in her car. He was walking down the road towards the garage when his phone buzzed and rang, Castiel smiled when he saw the name.

"Balthazar" he greeted.

"How is the love of my life?" Balthazar said coolly.

"I don't know why don't you go ask him or her?" Castiel responded dryly.

Balthazar chuckled putting his feet up on the table and glancing outside. "I'm currently back in Washington but I have a surprise"

"What?"

"I'm coming to see you on Thursday"

Castiel gasped feeling a flood of overwhelming happiness inside him at the thought of seeing him for the first time in three weeks.

"Brilliant, it's time for a catch up"

"Will lover boy mind?"

"No, Dean is okay with you and you know he is"

"He hates me!"

Castiel groaned hating their long time feud over nothing at all. Nothing seemed to work to fix it and Castiel had given up trying.

"Whatever" Balthazar murmured grimly "How's uni?"

"As Dean would say, it's awesome"

"You sound like him, you two are made for each other" Balthazar said in disgust.

"Well four years is a long time" Castiel said arriving outside the garage. "I have to go, I'll call you on Wednesday"

"Fine, see you later, darling" Balthazar said and hanging up.

Castiel chuckled pocketing his phone and looking inside to see Dean wiping his greased hands.

"Hey" Dean murmured when he stepped inside with a smile.

"How's your day been?" Castiel said leaning on the hood.

"Awful, the owner of this fucking car is a multi-millionaire stopping in town and he said I must fix problem or he won't pay me…fucking dick" Dean grumbled kicking the tyre. "He wants it done for tomorrow morning…I'm not done yet so no dinner till later"

Castiel nodded with a frown looking over at him in his overalls and bit his lip.

"Fancy working up an appetite and getting revenge at the same time?"

"What?" Dean said eyeing him carefully when he walked over looking up at him mischievously.

"Well…when multi-millionaire comes to collect his car and pick on everything…you can nod and smile knowing you and the love of your life had sex in his backseat"

Dean pressed his lips together amused and laughed shaking his head.

"You naughty boy"

"I am…you'll have to punish me and I want to choose my own punishment. Let's have sex in that backseat" he whispered pressing against his chest.

Dean swallowed hard and glanced over to the open door of the garage. "Okay, two seconds"

Castiel watched as he brought the shutters down and looked back towards him. Castiel launched himself over to him kissing him fiercely. Dean groaned backing him up against the car prepared to take full control but was beat to it when Castiel spun them around as he opened the door shoving Dean inside. Dean watched as he slid up the leather to see Castiel strip off his t-shirt and throw it on the steering wheel.

A groan escaped his lips as he shrugged down his overalls and they wiggled and moved till they were mostly naked and pressed against each other in the small space. Dean kissed him with hot open mouthed kisses down his jaw and throat as Castiel pulled out lube and wriggled and twisted his fingers in Dean's hole.

"_Shit" _Dean hissed when he was opened wide enough for Castiel. Dean spread his legs wider feeling sweat coat his back and forehead already. The leather stuck to his ass and back as he moaned breathlessly when Castiel slid deep inside him. It was quick and swift just the way they liked it. Dean gripped Castiel's ass tight kneading them and urging him inside deeper as they rocked together. Castiel slammed his palms down on the seat next to Dean's head as he thrusted deep down inside Dean who cried out.

The car rocked underneath them as they moved fast and locked together perfectly. It was intense and exciting by the possibilities of getting caught and in the tight space. Castiel moaned throwing his head back when Dean's nails pressed into the tender skin of his ass leaving red encircles that would leave marks.

"Dean" he moaned finding his mouth and licking his tongue inside it tasting shit coffee and something sweet like a doughnut. Dean gasped into his mouth when his hard cock rubbed against Castiel's stomach and erupting his orgasm squirting his come over his skin. Castiel arched his spine climaxing moment later inside Dean who gasped when the warm liquid flooded inside him.

Castiel gasped collapsing on Dean who groaned and laughed.

"Fuck" he breathed rubbing a hand down his sweaty back. Castiel nodded moving up to look at him and smiled.

"Sex in another man's car can be erased from the list"

"You're amazing"

"I know, I love you by the way"

"Good job" Dean murmured stealing a kiss and trailing his tongue across his bottom lip. Castiel smiled looking at the steamed windows and tracing his finger into them.

**Cas loves Dean. **

**He's mine and this car sucks. **

"Cas!" Dean said peering up at the steam on the window. "You're a child!"

"It's funny" he teased looking down at him and dropping back down on his chest. "Up for round two?"

"Is this revenge, baby?"

"Maybe"

Dean rolled his hips grinding them slowly against Castiel's who smirked and kissed him hard thrusting his already hard cock in him.

"We're made for each other apparently" he whispered and smiling when Dean rolled his eyes.

"You're always cheesy during sex"

"Natural gift" he gasped pushing his tongue into his mouth as they fucked slowly this time. It was about taking time and enjoying each other's company.

Unaware to both of them at all, a figure watched under a spotlight next to her silver car staring at the now closed car. Lily didn't know why she was here but it was a natural urge. Dean reminded her of her childhood sweetheart and her one and only love. She stared at the garage door feeling sick and guilty. Lily had watched their little exchange feeling an overwhelming sense of loneliness as her mind told her she would never, ever, get that again and she was alone in the world. It seemed like there one more danger in the world in the form of something so innocent.

**A/N: You have your sequel! I have an idea, it may ruin it, but you begged me for one. It's four year in the future because that's how long medical school is and I wanted them still young and fresh. **

**Enjoy, please give me your feedback, and I will try my best to update quick. **


	2. Chapter 2

Castiel sighed blinking open his eyes and throwing out his arm hoping to feel a warm body next to him but came up with nothing. He turned his head to see an empty pillow and sighed sitting up and looking over to Gem.

"Hey, baby" he murmured when she jumped up on the bed and purred seeking his comfort and affection. "Dean?"

"Yeah?" he called from the living area. Castiel jumped out of bed scooping Gem in his arms and padded out to see Dean sat on the computer.

"Why are you on the computer at 9am?"

"Skype with Jess" he said typing in and gasping in relief. Castiel walked over dropping Gem on the floor and wrapping his arms around Dean's shoulders. They watched as Jess suddenly came into view on the screen.

"Morning guys! Hold on one second, these two want to say hello" she said waving her hands and moving away for just a moment. Jess reappeared with Daniel, five years old, and the most recent addition to the Winchester family, Maisie, two years old.

"Uncle Dean! Uncle Cas!" they shouted down the camera. Dean laughed while Castiel chuckled pressing his face into Dean's shoulder.

"Hey, guys! Oh Maisie, you've grown so much" Dean said staring at the little girl with curly brown hair and the biggest hazel eyes ever. "You're so beautiful"

Jess laughed pressing a kiss to her head and looking at Daniel who ran back over thrusting a toy in the camera.

"Daddy got me a transformer, Uncle Dean!" he shouted.

"I see, wow, how is daddy?"

"Well since he fell down the stairs, not good" Jess laughed moving Daniel out of the way and telling him to take Maisie in the play room.

"I miss them" Dean said wistfully.

"Just wait till you have your own" Jess replied amused.

Dean scoffed while Castiel blinked feeling a sense of unease. They hadn't even dared approach the subject yet; "marriage and children" were not for a few years.

"I think you forget we're both men and can't have babies…but we keep trying" Dean said smugly and grinning when Jess rolled her eyes.

"TMI, Dean, but no listen to me! Adoption and surrogacy is huge in gay couples at the moment, Elton John just had his own son, Neil Patrick Harris has just had twins! They are adorable and you two could have your own little family. Finally give me and your brother nieces and nephews" Jess ranted. Castiel swallowed hard feeling Dean tense underneath him and exhale shakily.

"I see it in your eyes, Dean" Jess sang moving closer to the camera. Castiel pulled his arms astounded watching Dean chuckle nervously scratching behind his ear.

"Don't be daft! It's still early days, Jess, I haven't even thought about it now stop this baby talk and tell me how my baby brother is and can we speak?" he said pointing a warning finger at her. Castiel swallowed nervously watching Dean from the kitchen. Castiel knew Dean inside and out, he knew when he was happy, sad and upset, annoyed, and he knew when he was lying. Dean had lied about not thinking about marriage and children. Castiel felt a nervous tickle in the back of his mind at that and he knew Dean was much older, he was in his thirties now and Castiel knew Dean wanted children.

He glanced at the time and was thankful for his 10am start instead of nine. Dean sent his love and goodbyes before signing out and groaning stretching out his back. He shot Castiel a small smile and went to get his second coffee of the day.

"You okay?"

"Yes" Castiel murmured watching him pour the coffee. "Dean, why did you lie?"

"What?"

"Dean, I know you, I know what makes you happy and sad and I know when you lie. You lied to Jessica" Castiel said standing near him.

"Cas, I…"

"Don't lie to me, Dean" he said in a serious tone.

Dean sighed looking down at the black coffee and looked up to him.

"Okay, I lied. I do think about marriage and babies sometimes"

"When?"

"When I see a woman walking her child down the road, babies in the park, seeing Daniel and Maisie and wondering what it would be like to hold my own little boy or girl" Dean said stirring slowly. "There just random thoughts, Cas, its normal and I can't help them"

Castiel pressed his lips into a tight line watching him closely. "Marriage?"

"A random thought a while back, Cas, I'd love to marry you" Dean said moving towards him and cupping the back of his neck. Castiel placed his hands on his waist peering up into his eyes.

"Lose the conflict in your eyes, Cas, these are thoughts, wishes, and hopes for the future, our future. You're twenty two and you're in your final year, you have so much potential for your career" Dean said kissing the tip of his nose. "I'm getting old, Cas, I just…wonder"

Castiel watched as he released him and grabbed his coffee.

"I'm hopping in the shower…joining me?"

"We'll spend an hour having sex up against a tiled wall, I have uni for an hour, so no" he said with a small smile when he rolled his eyes amused. Castiel watched him leave into the bathroom biting down on his bottom lip. He knew Dean would be thinking these things but if Castiel was going to be honest with himself, he didn't. He didn't want marriage and babies just yet; he wanted to live his life to the full before settling down. The only problem he had was that Dean had lived his life and would be thinking of these things.

Castiel picked up his phone to see one new message from Balthazar to tell him he would be in California at one. Dean knew he was coming and hid his displeasure as best he could. He was rather excited to see his best friend and did his best to hide it from Dean.

"Are you in the garage today?" he said walking into the bathroom to brush his teeth.

"Yeah and then off to the school for the class, you're going to be with Balthazar aren't you?"

"Catching up time, Dean, if I come home drunk blame him"

Dean chuckled putting his face under the hot water and shaking his wet hair.

"I love when you're drunk, you become a cuddly, horny, funny, mess" Dean said with a chuckle.

"I do not"

"Oh so it wasn't you last week who stumbled in yelling about pizzas and why we had none and then telling me you loved me so, so, so, much!" Dean said peering out of the shower curtain. "Then you climbed on top of me and cuddled me to death"

"You're still living aren't you?"

"Yeah for now" Dean muttered moving back under the water.

Castiel popped the toothbrush in watching him in the mirror as he climbed out of the shower.

"Don't get arrested" Dean warned coming up behind him and wrapping his arms around his waist.

"Dean! You're all wet" he whined slapping his wet arms.

"Tell me I'm the best man in the world and you love me"

"You're the worst man in the world and I hate you"

Dean chuckled biting into his neck feeling him wriggle and laugh breathlessly.

"Fine! You're the best man in the world and I love you" he muttered turning his head to look at him. Dean smirked kissing him hard and pulling away.

"Come on, get dressed" Dean said slapping his ass as he walked out. Castiel yelped glaring at him and looked in the mirror for a long moment and picturing what he would look like as a father. The thought tingled in his mind and he moved away walking into the bedroom still feeling conflicted.

Dean was humming a song and pulled on clean overalls.

"Right, I'll see you tonight" Dean said collecting his wallet and keys. "Don't let Balthazar ruin you"

"He never ruins me" he said and coughed loudly when Dean headed towards the door. Dean stopped looking back and realisation dawned as he spun on his heel and kissed him goodbye.

"Seriously, when did we become so domestic?" Dean said curiously.

"The moment we started using a coffee machine and got Gem" he said with a serious nod.

"I don't like it"

"No one likes it"

Dean hummed pulling him into a final kiss. "Have a nice day, sweetums"

Castiel looked up at the ceiling amused and pulled on today's clothes excited for it to start.

**~0~**

Castiel knew the moment Balthazar came out of the train station and smiled at him when he sauntered over.

"Well aren't you a sight for sore eyes" Balthazar murmured appraising him.

"Take off the sunglasses then" Castiel retorted.

"Major hangover" Balthazar murmured rubbing his forehead giving him a flicker of a smile. "It's so good to see you, Cassy"

"I took a day off uni for this, Lily was not best pleased"

"Ah the famous Lillian"

"Lily, yes, she gets lonely and is acting strange lately" he murmured when they walked down the street together.

"How?"

"Keeps asking questions about me and Dean" he replied with a shrug of the shoulders. "It's nice to talk about but when it's all the time, it's irritating"

Balthazar chuckled for a second before stopping outside a pub and looking over to Castiel.

"It's one in the afternoon!"

"Hair of the dog and frankly I'm parched!" he said with a wink stepping inside the pub. Castiel sighed looking around before following him inside. He sat down on the seat rolling his eyes when Balthazar ordered red wine.

"I don't care if you don't like it, we get drunk quicker" he said with a quirk of a smile. Castiel shook his head at him but sipped it anyway.

"Tell me what's going on in your life?"

"Well, my parents are getting their divorce at last, I lost my job, and currently using every saving to travel the world to fuck, eat, and sleep" he said proudly.

"That's no life"

"Life is shit anyway, we eat, we drink, we fuck, we die, and it's an endless circle which is filled with money, work, and endless chatter"

Castiel eyed him when Balthazar swirled and sniffed the wine in mild disgust.

"Anyone special?"

Balthazar's smile faded and turned to look at him. "The girl last night with bright red hair did the ticket very nicely"

"Balthazar…"

"Leave it, Cas" he murmured softly.

Castiel sighed wrinkling his nose at the taste of wine. "Why did you lose your job?"

"Called the boss a self-righteous wanker and kicked him in the balls hard enough to leave him infertile"

"What?"

"The wanker started it! Assumed I had slept with his daughter when I didn't"

"You sure?"

"100% sure, she's sixteen" he murmured shaking his head in disgust. "I'm low but I'm not that low! It was Steve, not me"

"Good" Castiel murmured downing his wine and gagging. "Another one"

"There's my boy" Balthazar murmured signalling for another. "So how is the wonderful, Dean?"

"He's good, new job" he said letting slip a sigh.

"I heard a sigh, what's wrong?"

"Dean was on Skype with Jessica who brought up children and marriage, Dean lied to her and said he wasn't thinking about it when he was" Castiel said with a nervous swallow. "He' thirty now and he wants that sort of stuff…babies, a home, a permanent relationship and I just…"

"You don't?"

"I do but just not yet! I want to live my life and I would like to do when I'm also thirty but Dean will be thirty nine and…" he trailed off taking a big gulp of wine. "I didn't know, he never brought it up and now I can't stop thinking about what he wants! Dean has made so many sacrifices all for me and what have I done?"

"Cassy, you shouldn't feel obligated to make sacrifices as well. Dean's a big boy and he'll wait for you" Balthazar said feeling bitter.

"I know, I know, I'm being stupid but after everything he's done for me…I feel like I have to give him something back, something huge and what he wants"

"You're being daft! Come on, the afternoon is young, so are we, and I fancy getting really drunk with my best friend" Balthazar murmured into his ear. Castiel smiled inhaling deeply and exhaling downing his second glass. It was many, many, hours later that it was striking 8pm when they were helplessly drunk after trailing around bar after bar, vomiting, and laughing as they headed towards the beach and collapsed on a sand dune. Castiel hummed feeling lightheaded and staring up at the red, blue, and orange sky while Balthazar sang loudly next to him.

"I hate you, Balthazar Grayson, Dean is going to-to kill me!" he cried slapping his hand on his arm. "But I love him, I do, I really do…did you know he's my whole and entire world?"

"Yes" Balthazar murmured looking up at the sky with a sad look on his face.

"I love him so much" Castiel said with a sigh and looked over to him. "Balthy?"

"I want that. I want someone to love, Cassy, like you love Dean"

"You can get someone" he murmured rolling on his side to look at him.

"I can't" he murmured shaking his head and swallowing hard. "I fuck people for pleasure and fun, sex is sex at the end of the day. I try…I do but…there's only one person for me and I can never have that person" he murmured looking down at the sea crashing against the sand.

Castiel looked at him for a moment feeling a part of him sober up a little bit and he bobbed his head once.

"Who?"

Balthazar closed his eyes amused and exhaled opening them wide open.

"I don't even know if it love…I think I am but I could be wrong. Maybe it's just fatal attraction? I want something I know I never have" Balthazar wondered curiously. "It's you by the way but you always knew that"

Castiel bit his lip dropping down on the sand staring up at the sky.

"I'm sorry" he whispered.

"For what?"

"Not loving you back the way you want me too"

Balthazar laughed shaking his head but it was laced with bitterness and sadness. "Apologising for not loving me? Classic!"

"Balthazar, I'm serious…"

"So am I and I don't want you apologising for something that cannot and will not be helped. I am the stupidest and the most naïve person ever, Cassy, I'm in love, well supposedly in love with my guy best friend who is happily with a guy who is perfect for him" he said and looked away.

They lay together in silence and Balthazar snorted. "I am so going to regret this tomorrow, why am I saying these things to you?"

"They say the truth comes out when you're drunk, all your emotions, and all your lies, all your secrets come flooding out because you have no control"

"Want to know a secret?" Balthazar whispered turning pained eyes on him.

"Yes" he whispered back.

"I want you to kiss me, just once, like a test" he murmured.

Castiel felt his eyes widen and he shook his head. "I can't! It's cheating"

Balthazar snorted shaking a hand at him. "Cheating? It's a test! Cassy, if I feel nothing in the kiss then all these feelings are there because of unresolved attraction!"

Castiel bit down on his bottom lip hard and pushed up on one elbow. Balthazar watched him expectantly and gasped when Castiel moved towards him pressing a warm chaste kiss to his lips and pulled back. Balthazar gaped in shock and felt heat pool in his insides.

"Well?" he murmured. "Anything? It's a test remember, give me the results"

Balthazar didn't care for one second when he moved forward suddenly startling Castiel and kissed him hungrily on the lips. Castiel allowed it for one second before pushing him back.

"That's a re-test!" he warned shoving him back. "I'm guessing…it's real?"

"Very fucking real" he whispered and covered his eyes falling back on the sand with a moan "Shit"

"I'm sorry" he murmured sitting up with a dizzy head.

"No, I'm the one who is sorry, Cas, I shouldn't have done that and I know you love, Dean"

"I do, I do love him but I love you as well"

"You love me as a friend"

Castiel nodded looking back to him. "Balthy, you'll find someone, I know you will"

Balthazar snorted amused and looked at the darkening sky. "Maybe one day"

Castiel's phone buzzed loudly startling them both and he answered it.

"Baby!"

"You're drunk aren't you?" Dean said amused when he sat down on the couch. "Come home"

"I love you"

"I love you too, now come home"

"I am! I'll get a cab" he muttered struggling up. "Oh….Balthazar"

"No, he's not staying"

Castiel went to argue when Balthazar waved his arms. "I have a hotel! You go, I'll be fine"

"I can't leave you like this" he murmured with a pout.

"You can and you will" Balthazar said sitting up covered in sand. "I'll call tomorrow"

"Promise?" he said holding out his pinkie finger. Balthazar rolled his eyes and locked it. Castiel smirked pulling away and putting the phone back to his ear.

"On my way, put burgers on!" he shouted stumbling across the sand.

"Fine, just get home" Dean said with a chuckle.

Balthazar watched him leave with a heavy heart touching his bottom lip. Both kisses confirmed that Balthazar was helplessly in love with his taken guy best friend and always would be. Balthazar knew what a broken heart felt like and nobody should ever endure it. Watching the one you love, love another person has to be the most heart breaking feelings ever and watching the very same person run across the sand to be with them destroyed him. Balthazar knew what he had to do and what to do was find a nice pretty girl or boy and fuck till he forgot his name and Castiel's. It was ritual now.

**~0~**

Dean opened the door when he heard the scratch of the door key.

"Hey!" Castiel said falling into his arms.

"Jesus, Cas, you smell of beer, wine, sand, and the sea" Dean said astonished when he hauled him on the couch.

"Balthazar got me very drunk" he said pushing a finger to his lips. "Shush, don't tell anyone!"

"I promise" he murmured taking off his wet clothing with a wrinkled nose. "You are seriously pissed and that means a severely hung over boyfriend tomorrow"

"I love you so much" he murmured wrapping his arms around him. "I do, you're my soul mate"

Dean chuckled shaking his head at him removing his socks and shoes. "I love you too, baby. I always will"

"Seriously?"

"Of course"

Castiel pouted when he picked him up in a bridal sweep and took him into the bedroom.

"Dean, you have to listen to me, I mean it!"

"Mean what?"

"I love you! No, I'm serious and I want to marry you, and have babies with you because I could try! I mean for you, I'd-I'd do anything" Castiel murmured when he tucked him in laughing.

"Okay, I love you too, and I want you to sleep" he murmured kissing him back when he kissed him hard. Dean pulled back tasting sand and wine and shook his head.

"I'll sleep for you" he whispered curling in a ball. "Because you're my Dean, my Dean, my assbutt, my love, my soul mate, my…burger"

Dean covered his mouth fighting back laughter and nodded pressing his lips to his temple.

"Fuck I love you" he whispered before stepping up and going to watch television while Castiel slept off his alcohol. The telephone rang again and Dean stared at it with hard eyes. The telephone had been ringing on and off since he got back from his teaching and it was seriously pissing him off.

"Hello?"

Silence greeted him and he exhaled angrily.

"Okay, practical joke is over you little shit! You call here again, whoever you are, and I will track your number down and find you myself! Call again and I'll make you wish you were never born" he hissed slamming it down. Dean exhaled and gave up disconnecting the phone which he hated because if someone needed him they couldn't.

Dean was more than freaked out by the silent phone calls and checked every locked window and door for safety. Dean sat down watching his programme unaware of anything that was about to come because who could possibly know?

**A/N: I'm glad I wrote this now, you are all pleased! That makes me happy. **

**Enjoy, review, and you know the rest. **


	3. Chapter 3

It was 2am when Dean was woken up by Castiel groaning and rolling out of bed to be sick. Dean opened his eyes in time to see him run out of the bedroom and into the bathroom, he cringed when he heard him gag and the rush of liquid hit the bowl.

"Dean" he whined pitifully leaning against the radiator and pouting feeling ill and sore. Dean rolled his eyes pulling on a t-shirt and padded into the bathroom folding his arms.

"I told you this would happen"

Castiel frowned holding out his arms till Dean sighed and came over dropping down to hold him close. Dean wrinkled his nose flushing the contents away and holding still while Castiel climbed into his lap wrapping his legs around his waist and nestling into his neck.

"Are we sleeping in the bathroom now?"

"Hold me" he murmured shivering and inhaling the smell of his skin.

"You stink of beer, sick, and the seaside" Dean murmured shaking his head and leaning back against the wall.

"The sea? Why would I…" he said and trailed off pulling back with a gasp. "Oh my god"

"What?" Dean murmured seeing his pupils widen and his face pale even more.

"Promise me you won't get seriously angry with me or…Balthazar" he said clinging to him.

Dean narrowed his eyes pushing him back slightly. "What did you do, Cas"

"Well…Balthazar's in love with me"

"I know that"

"But he wanted to know if his feelings were true, he was telling me everything about how he loves his taken best friend and how he'll never be able to find someone else…" Castiel said lightly. Dean rolled his eyes but continued to listen to him.

"So he asked for a test, well a kiss, and I said yes" he murmured avoiding his eye contact. Dean froze and tilted his head blinking wildly as he digested that information and leaned forward gripping his chin and pulling it back towards him.

"You kissed him!"

"No! Well yes, but it was only like this" he murmured pressing a chaste kiss to his lips and pulling back. "It was a little test and I was drunk, Dean, but he got horny and tried again"

Dean pressed his lips into a tight white light looking away from him.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it" Castiel pleaded leaning back towards him cupping his cheeks. "It was a silly little test but it doesn't mean I like him, I like and love him as my best friend, Dean, you know that"

Dean clucked his tongue into his cheek and finally nodded. "Okay, I understand it was a test, a stupid one I might add, and it's not cheating I guess but don't you ever do it again! I'll find Balthazar and cut his balls off if he even dares kisses you again for some fucked up confirmation of feelings, you're mine"

"I promise" Castiel murmured clinging to him hard. "I'm yours"

"Are you going to be sick again?"

Castiel nodded pulling away and heaving into the toilet. Dean sighed rubbing his back gently when he coughed and gagged.

"I feel like death"

"Well don't get drunk"

"It's fun"

"Oh to be young and foolish" Dean murmured getting a poke from Castiel and chuckling. "It's late, I'm tired, and I want to sleep"

"You can't leave me!"

"Watch me big boy" Dean said standing up and walking towards the door. He peered back to see Castiel sat on the floor eyes downcast and shivering. Dean closed his eyes feeling overwhelming guilt and sighed collecting the blanket and pillows for them and coming back in.

"Come here" he murmured to him watching him get up and stumble confused. Dean eyed his pale and sickly face as he dried the bath and dropped the blanket and pillows in.

"If we are sleeping in here, we're sleeping in this. It means climbing in and out but they always say sleeping in the bathroom makes you feel better" Dean murmured helping him in and wrapping the blanket around them. They had an awfully large bathtub that Dean was more than grateful for right now. Castiel shivered burrowing into Dean's warmth as they settled down for sleep.

"Am I forgiven?" Castiel murmured against Dean's neck.

"Drinking? Yes. Kissing your best friend for a test of his feelings? No." Dean muttered into his hair. "You have serious making up to do"

"Sex?"

"Lots of it" Dean murmured breathing warm air down his neck and smiling softly when Castiel hummed in approval. Dean knew when Castiel had drifted back off to sleep by his deep breathing and snuffles in his sleep. It was relaxing for now but the stiffness of the bath was uncomfortable and he peered down at Castiel with hard eyes.

"The things I do for you, you own me big time!" he hissed cuddling him close for warmth. Castiel hummed fisting his hand into his shirt feeling waves of sickness and dizziness penetrate him but knowing the toilet was only metres away soothed him and kept it at bay.

**~0~**

The phone rang loudly in the next room that morning much to the displeasure of both of them.

"Dean, answer it"

"You answer it"

"I'm sick!"

"Like that is an excuse and you're closer to getting out" Dean mumbled into his hair with his eyes closed.

"Dean, it's annoying"

"Leave it be"

"What if is important?"

"They'll ring again"

"I think it's Balthazar"

Dean scoffed in disgust wrapping his arm around his middle and keeping him in place.

"He's dead to us now, rest in hell" he murmured and laughed when Castiel moaned as it restarted ringing.

"Dean!"

"Fine!" Dean said struggling out of the bath and getting out answering it.

"Hello? Hello?" he said down the phone and groaned throwing down the phone. "Silent phone calls, again!"

"Track the number?"

"No caller I.D" Dean called back and turned towards the kitchen. "Oh I need coffee"

Castiel struggled out of the bath and closed his eyes swaying feeling like death. His mouth tasted like sand and sick and his body screamed in protest.

"Coffee" he croaked wandering into the kitchen. Castiel leaned his forehead against his back with a fake sob. "I'll do anything if you make me coffee and cuddle me all day"

"What about uni?"

"I quit" he murmured walking to living area and dropping down on the couch face first.

Dean chuckled pouring a second cup. "Sure you do"

"Dean, I feel like you've beaten me several times with that huge pan we have" he murmured turning his face towards him. "I hate Balthazar"

"Good to hear"

"I don't really"

Dean hummed amused dropping the cup down gently on their coffee table.

"Do you want the blanket?"

"Yes please"

Dean walked away hearing him groan and sit up to drink it. Dean threw it on his head when he was finished and was satisfied to hear him whine.

"Dean, my head is sore!"

"You're such a child, man up" Dean said switching on the television.

"Go away" Castiel murmured wrapping his body in a cocoon. "If you're going to be mean, you can go away"

Dean chuckled reaching over and tugging him over so he could wrap his arms around him.

"You're adorable drunk and hung over, Cas, what am I going to do with you?"

"Be nice and hold me?" he murmured wrapping the blanket around him. "I'm also very sorry"

"Cas, it's fine"

"It's not! I shouldn't have done it" he whispered.

"I blame Balthazar, not you" Dean said with knowing eyes.

"I let him"

"He shouldn't have asked! He knows how he feels and he was gagging for you" Dean said with hard eyes looking away.

Castiel smiled gently nuzzling his cheek. "I like it when you get jealous and possessive"

"You're mine, baby" he murmured capturing his lips and pulling away. "Forever"

"That's a long time"

"We have a long time" Dean said with a half-smile which faltered when the phone rang. "This person is dead!"

Castiel sighed looking over to Dean who answered it and waited. "I can hear you fucking breathing! I don't know how or why you are doing this but I swear to god…one more phone call and I'm calling the police. They'll track you down, you motherfucker" he hissed and slammed the phone down. "I will"

"I'm sure" Castiel said when he sat back down with a huff. "Every ten minutes last night, who has our phone number?"

"A lot of people, it's probably kids, Dean"

"Well I'll kill them"

"I thought you loved kids?"

"I do! But not the little brats" Dean said with a shudder. "If we have a baby, it'll be a star child"

Castiel swallowed reaching up and trailing his hand into the short brown hair. "Babies"

"What about them?"

"A lot of work, responsibility, they change your life and sometimes not for the better" he muttered.

"Yeah, it's a little baby, Cas, they're hard work"

"Do you think…do you think we could handle it?"

Dean gave him a sidelong glance for a long minute before nodding.

"I think we could, I think we'd struggle like any normal parent who has a child for the first time but I think we'd be okay" Dean said with a smile turning back to the TV. "But baby talk is a long way away, Cas, so we don't have to talk about it now"

Castiel didn't reply. Dean simply watched cartoons feeling like a little kid again when he noticed the time.

"I have to go to work"

"No"

"Yes" he muttered kissing him briefly and getting up. "I want you to stay here, drink water, and sleep"

"Please stay"

"Cas, I make the living here and it's your own fault for getting drunk on a Thursday" he muttered kneeling down and kissing his forehead. Castiel moaned at the banging in his head and watched him get up and dress in his overalls.

Castiel frowned watching him walk around the apartment collecting keys and money.

"I'll be back at five"

"Fine"

"I love you"

"I may love you too"

Dean smiled opening the door and looking back to him, Castiel looked back giving him his best wounded puppy look.

"Stop it"

"Stop what?"

"Giving me the puppy eyes, you have Gem to keep you company" he said and winked as he closed the door. Castiel sighed and looked towards the bedroom.

"Gem!" he called and watching their lazy kitten run out to greet him. "Hey"

Gem purred when he placed her on his knee and stroked her.

"We have a long day" he murmured when she licked his fingers and rolled onto her back for a tummy rub.

**~0~**

Lily instantly knew Dean was in the garage and bit her lip contemplating how to ask when she stumbled and tripped landing painfully on her side. Dean heard the noise and walked out to see her on the floor wincing.

"Shit, are you okay?" he said moving towards her and stopping. "Hey, you're…Lily, right?"

"Yes" she murmured looking up at him with a sweet smile.

"Cas' friend" he said dropping down to inspect her. "What happened?"

"I tripped I think and my ankle…" she said gesturing at it. "It's sore"

Dean frowned deeply and sighed with a nod. "Come on"

Lily watched as he stepped forward picking her up gently, she gasped wrapping her arms around his neck frozen in surprise till he placed her down on the desk chair.

"Let's have a look see" he muttered peering at the red ankle. "It looks a little swollen"

Dean moved away to get some ice from the fridge. Lily tilted her head inspecting him and straightened when he came over.

"Hold this to your foot" he ordered and stepped back looking over her. "So why are you here?"

"Looking for Castiel, he isn't in" she said staring up at him. "Do you know where he is?"

"Yep, he's in bed sleeping off a bad hangover" he muttered shaking his head. "He's a naughty boy"

Lily didn't smile back when he smiled and she simply looked over to the car.

"Is that a Chevy Impala 67?" she said with a small smile.

Dean gaped and turned towards it with a nod. "You know your cars"

"My adopted father loves them" she said. "I have a fine interest in them"

"I see that, yeah she's my baby" he murmured patting the top. "My dad gave her to me just before he died"

"I'm sorry to hear that" she murmured softly. "It's a beautiful car"

Dean smirked with a nod looking over to her. "I don't know why Castiel never introduces me to his friends…I think it's because I usually hate them"

"You like me?" she said tilting her head.

Dean laughed and shrugged. "You're doing well so far"

Lily blushed looking down at her feet. "That's very good to know, I like Castiel a lot, and he's a good friend"

Dean smiled at her and nodded. Lily eyed him and looked down twisting a silver ring around her finger.

"You remind me of someone I used to know"

"Oh" he said opening the bonnet.

"He's like you in personality and the way you treat Castiel" she said with envy and want shining in her eyes that faded the moment Dean looked over.

"He must be an awesome dude" he said with a grin.

"Yes, yes he was" she whispered biting her lip and sniffing deeply. "Thank you for this, Dean, it won't be forgotten"

"You fell, darling, I wasn't about to leave you on the sidewalk" he said straightening up. "How does it feel?"

"Sore but manageable" she said removing the ice packet and straightening out her thin silk top showing off the top of her breasts. Lily noticed the way Dean looked down at them and away with raised eyebrows.

"I was wondering if I could ask a favour"

"Shoot"

"Cars, you know a lot about them?"

"Yes" Dean said gesturing around with a raised eyebrow.

"Would you teach me about them? I'd like to know, my adopted father never had time for my interests and I love cars as much as I love nursing" she said moving forward slightly. "I'd pay"

"Don't be daft" Dean scoffed and stopped looking over her. "You want me of all people to teach you everything to learn about cars"

"Yes" she said with a confident smile.

"Okay, you have a deal. When do you want to start?"

"Every Saturday?"

"That's my day with Cas"

Lily narrowed her eyes slightly and then nodded. "Sunday?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes"

"Okay, Sunday mornings it is" he said pointing a finger at her. "10am start and we finish at lunch"

"Perfect" she murmured moving out and stumbling. Dean darted forward catching her arm and helping her out.

"My car is just down there, I should be okay from here" she said casting her eyes over to him. Dean let go and smiled softly.

"I'll tell Cas about our arrangement in case he freaks out that I'm pressuring you into it" he said and waved a hand at her. "This Sunday and don't be late"

"Never" she called back and walked slowly down the path. Lily looked back to the entrance and climbed in her car. Lily straightened pushing back her curls and peering down at her phone. Lily felt bad but she couldn't help it, he reminded her of Mark. The guilt rose up when she saw Castiel and Dean's home number on her phone. She had dialled it over 50 times hearing Dean shout and rage. It was hard to admit but it turned her on.

But the guilt wouldn't fade and she knew she would be hurting Castiel by doing this. Lily did like him as her friend and he was so good to her these past few weeks, but Castiel had what she had been looking for, for so long.

Lily opened her phone to look at her pictures. One of Dean leaving the apartment, in the garage, walking to the café, coming out of the café, on the phone, talking to a friend, another photo with Castiel that made her stomach churn but she kept it. It seemed okay in her mind, they were just photos. Was it a crime to take photos of people now, she wondered desperately. Lily started up the car heading towards her empty penthouse and ignored the screaming pain in her foot. Lily felt like she deserved it.

**~0~**

Castiel opened his eyes feeling disorientated and woozy when Dean opened the door.

"Hey, baby" he murmured coming over and smoothing his fingers into his hair. Castiel moaned reaching for him when he reared back.

"Five minutes, I smell of oil and I'm all dirty" he said and frowned when Gem circled his legs in greeting. "Move, cat"

Dean went into the bathroom stripping off and splashing cold water in his face. Dean was excited at the prospect of teaching and not history this time, his other love for cars was about to be tested.

"I saw Lily today"

"Oh?"

"She was looking for you and tripped over"

"Is she okay?"

"Yeah" Dean murmured pulling on a clean white t-shirt and sliding into the warm covers and holding him close. Castiel smiled inhaling his warm clean smell and wrapped his arms around his middle. "She hurt her ankle and I put ice on it…why didn't you tell me she was interested in cars?"

"Because I didn't know" he said with a frown. "Why?"

"She asked me for lessons on cars, I said yes, and it starts on Sunday"

Castiel moved his head back with a frown. "Seriously?"

"Deadly, she seems really interested and knew what a Chevy Impala 67 was" he said shaking his head. "You don't mind do you?"

"No, of course not" Castiel said tucking his face into the crook of his neck. "It's good you can share your wisdom"

"Is that sarcasm, Mr Milton?"

"No, Mr Winchester" he murmured and laughed when Dean tickled him.

"Feeling any better?" he whispered peppering kisses down his face.

"Much, I ate crackers"

"Oh really?" he whispered with a chuckle. "I'm proud of you, my little burger"

"What?" Castiel said confused when Dean laughed loudly startling Gem who ran out of the room.

"You said I was your burger last night"

"I did!"

Dean hummed nodding his head. Castiel could see the amusement shining in Dean's eyes and scoffed.

"I never"

"You did, Cas"

Castiel frowned at him and looked away towards the television.

"Anyway, you have a _lot_ of making up to" Dean whispered huskily in his ear. Castiel smirked looking back towards him and nodded abruptly.

"Should I start now?" he whispered over his lips pushing him down on his back and straddling his waist. Dean smirked for a moment before meeting his kiss and opening his mouth wider when he pushed his tongue inside licking his mouth. Dean moaned arching up towards him when Castiel ground his hips into him.

"Shit, Cas" he hissed when he pulled away shimmying down to his belt and undoing it slowly to pull them down. Castiel took them off roughly staring at Dean in his black briefs, he didn't hesitate as he mouthed over his cock through the fabric. Dean gasped rolling his hips when the hot sensation tickled at his cock which hardened instantly.

"You've been a very naughty boy, Cas" Dean whispered gripping the top of his hair. Castiel moaned looking up at him with smouldering blue eyes.

"I better make it up to you" he murmured with a wink that made Dean's stomach flutter. Castiel slid his hands down taking off the black briefs watching the cock rise to attention, Dean groaned in relief when his mouth swirled over the head. Castiel took his time as he slid his hands down his inner thighs sucking and swallowing the head tasting the bitter taste of salt and Dean in his come.

"Cas, please" Dean begged fisting his hand into the covers and one in the softness of Castiel's hair. Castiel engulfed him in one moment eliciting a shuddering cry from Dean who arched his hips and spine. Sensations of pleasure ran across him like fire and he moaned restfully watching and feeling the slide of Castiel's lips on his sensitive cock.

Castiel listened to the moans of appreciation and want practically screaming from Dean. He sucked harder stroking and licking his tongue while massaging his balls in his other hand. Dean gasped seeing a white light and a hissing noise in his ears when he climaxed shooting his load down Castiel's throat. Castiel swallowed greedily till he was spent and boneless. Castiel smiled crawling back up to him and kissing him softly.

"You're amazing" Dean whispered spreading his legs so he could fit perfectly.

"There's plenty more coming"

"How do I deserve you?"

"Endless bad luck" he whispered and laughed when Dean brought him into a fierce kiss.

But the problem with happiness is you never know what's around the corner to ruin it and there is always something.

**A/N: Your feedback has been awesome! I love writing Lily. She was going to be a boy but I changed my mind at the beginning. You'll begin to understand her, she's my character and you'll see how messed up she really is in upcoming chapters.**

**Enjoy! **


	4. Chapter 4

Dean woke up that next morning and smiled gently when he looked towards the window to see blue sky and hint of sunshine. It was Saturday and that meant he spent the whole day with Castiel and nothing else, it meant no garage, no essays, nothing to do with work.

He stretched out and rolled over to see him lying on his back still fast asleep. Dean propped up on his elbow and simply stared at him. Castiel had grown out of his childlike features leaving harder muscle, toned skin, and fresh stubble on his chin every morning. Dean pressed his lips to the tanned skin of his arm watching him snuffle and sigh in his sleep as he moved away.

"Cas" he murmured crawling up him and trailing his lips over the days old stubble on his cheeks and chin. "Baby, wake up"

"Go away" he murmured pushing his hand into his face. "I will kill you"

"It's Saturday" he whispered blowing warm air in his ear. "Let's play"

"No" Castiel muttered squeezing his eyes shut tighter. "You're so irritating, Dean, go away and leave me to sleep"

Dean huffed leaning back feeling the sting of rejection. "Now that's not very nice is it?"

"Dean" he whined when he straddled his waist pinning him to the bed. "Lie in, Dean, remember them?"

"Not when we have a full day together" Dean murmured sucking a warm path down his collarbone.

Castiel blinked opening his eyes and glaring at Dean who grinned at him.

"Morning, gorgeous"

"I hate you this time of the day"

"Well aren't you a little ray of sunshine"

"Why won't you let me sleep?"

"Because I'm cruel" Dean whispered down to him and reattaching his mouth to his neck sucking hard. Castiel groaned when his teeth nibbled and nipped the skin leaving behind a bruising red mark.

"I still hate you" Castiel murmured reaching his hand into the softness of Dean's hair. Dean hummed when he stroked his fingers into it gently. They turned their heads when a little tinkle of a bell startled them and a little head popped up staring at them.

"Pervert" Dean hissed at Gem who meowed.

"She is not! Are you, baby?" he murmured smiling at the kitten and back to Dean.

"She is" Dean said narrowing her eyes at her till she jumped down and ran out of the bedroom door.

"You are so mean to her, Dean"

"It's a cat"

"Animals have feelings"

"Shut up"

Castiel rolled his eyes upwards and moaned gripping his shoulder and hair tight when Dean kissed slowly down his chest. He took his time over the scarring of his warding symbol and the darkish red spot where the bullet hit. It made Dean sick to his stomach about how much he had been through in his life.

Castiel turned when his phone rang and picked it up quizzical.

"Hello?"

"I feel like death!"

"Balthazar" he murmured in greeting.

Dean straightened up looking down at Castiel who shrugged at him.

"Cas, you know those stories people tell when they wake up in skips and dumpsters?"

"Yes?"

"Well I have one" Balthazar murmured looking down at his ruined black jeans covered in red sauce and other items from the dumpster. He smelled and looked disgusting, his head pounded, and his ego was taking a beating.

"You woke up in a dumpster! I thought I told you to call me yesterday" Castiel said in disapproval.

"My hangover said no"

"I know the feeling…ah!" he gasped when Dean licked his nipple.

"What?"

"N-Nothing" Castiel murmured when he spread his hands over his ribs sucking on the nub gently.

"I think…I went out last night, hit a couple of bars…found a lovely looking bloke with a tight ass…we went back to his place…had sex multiple times and…his boyfriend came back"

"Oh no, did he chuck you out?"

"No, he shouted, raged, and then his gorgeous boyfriend settled him down with one little word…threesome"

"You didn't"

Balthazar laughed loudly. "Oh I did, sweetheart, perfect asses on both of them and believe me…I tried both of them"

"Balthazar, please stop telling me this" he said and moaned when Dean moved up to his neck.

"Are you having sex whilst on the phone to me, Castiel Milton?" Balthazar shouted down the phone making Dean chuckle and cup Castiel's hard cock. Castiel gasped loudly shooting Dean a death glare.

"No, but he's sexually harassing me whilst we talk, yes" he said glaring at Dean.

Balthazar made a small sound of disgust. "I need to leave now"

"No, wait!" Castiel said and sighed when the phone went out and he heard the dial tone. "Dean!"

"Yes?" he murmured against his hipbone.

"That was inappropriate and rude"

"So? The dick kissed my boyfriend, he can rot in hell for all I care" he muttered bitterly and biting into the tender skin of his inner thigh. Castiel gasped gripping the top of his hair and his phone fell to the floor forgotten.

"Well if you're down there make yourself usual for once" Castiel murmured and chuckled when Dean gasped looking up at him.

"Getting cocky are we?"

"Not yet"

"You are a very…" Dean murmured crawling up to him. "…naughty boy, Castiel"

"Oh god" he whispered when he gripped his wrists pulling him up to his chest and flipping him over so he was lying face first on the bed.

"Naughty boys deserved to be punished for their actions" Dean said sliding his hands down the muscles of his back. Castiel moaned restfully tossing his head against the pillow. Dean pulled back his hand and slapped him hard against his ass cheek listening to him cry out and gasp in both pleasure and agony.

"You like that, you naughty little whore" he purred into his ear.

"Yes, oh god, Dean" he moaned tilting his head back. "Fuck me"

"I thought you were the one making it up to me" he whispered gripping the back of his hair tightly and dragging him back so he was on his knees.

"I'll do anything, anything, just please…" he begged arching back into him. Dean chuckled pressing warm lips to the nape of his neck and working his way down his spine slowly, he shoved him down roughly so he landed with a huff and a moan. Castiel liked it especially when Dean was being rough and jealous.

"You're mine, Cas" he murmured kissing over the red hand mark on his ass cheek. "Say it"

"I'm yours" he moaned when his lips trailed over the sore skin and his arousal peaked.

"Dean, please, I'm begging you, please" Castiel begged with a cry of distress. Dean smiled bringing him back up to his knees and snatching up the lube, he worked him slowly sliding his fingers in and out of the hole scissoring and widening it open for him. Castiel moaned breathlessly feeling the burn in his lower region escalate as Dean added a third finger inside him. Castiel groaned when Dean's hands gripped his hips tight and he slid inside him with one hard thrust.

Dean closed his eyes as he entered him feeling the warm burn and tightness around his own cock, he gripped the back of Castiel's hair and left one on his hip as he thrusted deep inside him.

"Dean" Castiel moaned eyes blown wide in ecstasy. Dean felt a smug satisfaction at hearing that exact word escape his lips. Dean removed his hand placing it back on the smoothness of his hipbones and thrust his hips sharply into him hitting the sweet spot inside him. Castiel cried out reaching back to grip the back of Dean's hair as they moved together.

"Yes, fuck yes, Dean" he moaned closing his eyes when Dean bit down into his shoulder. "I love you, Dean, I love you, I love you"

Castiel chanted that over and over again and bit his lip hard tasting sweat.

"Don't touch yourself" Dean warned when Castiel went to wrap a hand around his own cock. "You touch yourself and I'll stop"

"Dean…" he whined.

"No" he whispered into his ear slamming into him and smiling when he groaned gripping him harder. "I want you to come untouched, baby; I want to see you come"

"Please!" Castiel begged on the verge of a sob. His cock bobbed red, swollen, and leaking pre-come that was eager for release.

"You're all mine, no one will ever touch you like this, Cas. No one will _ever _see you like this" he murmured feeling possessive. Castiel whimpered with a nod tilting his chin towards him when he gripped it and let out a hearty moan when they met to kiss. The kiss was full of heat as they twirled their tongues together tasting each other and sweat as it poured down their faces and stuck to their skin.

The smell of sex lingered in the air pushing Castiel forward when Dean hit his sweet spot and looked into his eyes when he climaxed. Dean smiled gently when he looked away gasping as his come splattered onto the cushions. Castiel's chest heaved and he leaned against his chest boneless and fucked out. Dean moaned into the gap of his shoulder blades as the walls tightened around his cock and he felt his own orgasm. Dean shot his load deep inside him and collapsed against Castiel.

"Shit" Dean breathed pulling out of him slowly and joining Castiel as they dropped down. Castiel sighed tossing his pillow on the floor and they both shared Dean's.

"I'll have to wash that now, we're sharing tonight" Castiel murmured closing his tired eyes.

"Sure"

"Dean?"

"Yes?"

"I love you"

"I love you too"

"Dean?"

"What!"

"Make me sausage and bacon?"

"No"

**~0~**

Lily was wrapped up in her bed looking through the pictures on her phone feeling an overwhelming shadow of pain and guilt. She deleted every photo one by one but left one of Castiel and Dean together, Lily kept it.

Tossing the phone to the floor, Lily sat up wrapping a warm dressing gown around her and looked outside. It was a warm Saturday morning but in her eyes it was bleak and dark. A brush of fear crept up over her as she looked back into her bedroom. Behind her, she had a double bed, a simple wardrobe, and a dressing table. Out of the room she had a little kitchen and a living area. It was a smell penthouse that cost little money.

Loneliness was a major aspect to living and being alone in a penthouse made for two. Lily's eyes travelled over to her phone and she ran over picking it up and dialling Dean and Castiel's number. It rang and rang till it got voicemail. Lily cried out in frustration throwing the phone on the floor and gasped when she felt the familiar chill. Lily spun around looking at the empty room and whimpered climbing on the bed.

"_It's your entire fault" _a voice whispered in her head. _"He's dead because of you"_

"No!" Lily sobbed covering her ears.

"_Mark is dead because of you, Lily Grace, you killed him, and you sent him to his grave" _the voice continued to torment her.

"No! It's not my fault, it's not my fault, it's not my fault" she chanted covering her ears and shaking her head. Lily scrambled off the bed and darted to the mirror to see her reflection. Her eyes were red from her tears, her skin a pale white and her form shaking. Lily imagined she looked demonic as she stared in the mirror.

"I didn't kill him! He died in a car accident…he died because I sent him out for food that I didn't really want" she whispered and turned around twisting the engagement ring around her finger. "I didn't kill him"

"_You did, he died thinking you hated him…remember your last words to him…" "Think of Castiel, he would be ashamed of you, disgusted by you, look at what you're doing"_

Lily covered her ears shaking her head and gasped jumping up and running to the bathroom, she grabbed her prescribed pills and shoved three down her throat. She didn't know how long she was stood there staring at the white tiled floor feeling her pills take effect. The voice had disappeared and she was left with a peaceful hum in her mind. Lily swallowed hard looking up into the mirror and stared at the face reflecting back.

Mark Ashcroft died nearly eight months in a tragic car accident that left Lily alone in the world. With no family and hardly any friend to turn to, Lily was stuck in her grief.

She padded out softly walking into the living room and sitting down on the sofa staring at nothing. Lily knew what she was doing was wrong but Castiel had what she wanted. She needed Dean and didn't even know him. It's like a smell or a flavour that reminds you of something you used to love more than anything, you want to smell it again and again or try the flavour over and over again because it reminds you of better times.

Lily twisted her hands together and brought them up to her face feeling the urge to cry and do something drastic. Every thought, every feeling, and every emotion inside her erupted into a mess of grief, despair, pain, and self-loathing until it reached the point where Lily screamed. Lily screamed hard till her voice was raw and let it all out with whispers and sobs. Loneliness and grief are terrible emotions but when put together it is a whirlwind of terror.

**~0~**

They were lying on the couch together with Castiel curled up against Dean's chest dozing. His phone rang and he sighed fishing it out of his pocket.

"Hello?"

"Cas, it's me"

"Hello, Jo"

Jo was currently in Washington working as a barmaid in Ellen's pub. Castiel rarely saw her and hated it, he liked Jo a lot and she was a good friend.

"I have news, old friend"

"What?" he murmured with his eyes still closed. Dean looked down at him with a frown but continued to watch the TV.

"Pamela is pregnant"

"What?" he said opening his eyes startled. "Pamela is pregnant?"

"Yes!"

Dean looked at him wide eyed when he glanced up at him amazed. "Pregnant" he mouthed.

Castiel nodded looking away from him.

"Who's the father?""

"She doesn't know it's either a lad called Jessie or a man in a bar she shagged in a toilet" Jo said with a sniff. "Either way, she is nearly ten weeks pregnant and is freaking out! She predicted this"

"I forgot she is working as a psychic now" Castiel murmured softly. "Is she keeping the baby?"

"Well…she keeps calling me up crying and fearing for her future so I don't know at all but it seems likely. Pamela hates abortions and adoption so she's screwed"

Castiel hummed letting his eyes drift shut feeling sleepy.

"But I'll look after her and guess what! I'm going to book tickets and come see you and Dean in California because of course Balthy is there and he's apparently staying there…Cas?"

Dean rolled his eyes at the now sleeping Castiel and edged the phone out of his ear.

"Jo?"

"Dean? Where's Cas?"

"Sleeping against my chest, he fell asleep" Dean murmured with an amused snort. "I'll get him to call you back…I overheard though, you said Balthazar is staying in California?"

"Yes! Insane isn't it? I called him yesterday and he said he was staying, he has to sort his life out and fight for what he wants"

"What?"

"I know it makes zero sense" Jo said rolling her eyes.

Dean felt a crippling fear run through him and glanced down at Castiel sleeping against his chest. "Yeah, it sure does"

"Mom is going wild so I better go, tell him to call me straight back"

"Sure thing" he muttered and hung up. Dean brushed a hand gently over Castiel's hair and looked up at the images on the television. For Dean it felt like one thing after another and though he rarely ever got scared, this was the one thing that scared him. Losing Castiel frightened him like none other and with their age difference and the love Castiel held for his certain best friend it scared Dean. There was a friendship, chemistry, and a connection between them that was heightened by the fact that they were both the same age.

But if Dean was anything, he was a fighter and he would be damned if he was giving up the only person he ever truly loves.

**A/N: Ah, it's like plots and twists in this one. It's never-ending bad luck. **

**Someone mentioned Lily was a tiny bit unrealistic. Lily is a damaged character who is grieving for the death of a loved one in the very wrong way. This type of situation does happen and whether it happens to you or not or even to anyone you know, it does. It might not be the same as this but it does happen. It's not unrealistic. Just FYI before I get a backlash. **

**Enjoy, review, and if you want anything to happen in this please do say. If you want a character development or a plot twist or even naughty behaviour please say! **


	5. Chapter 5

"I'm going to talk to him, Dean, that's all! You'll be teaching with Lily anyway" Castiel said folding his arms over annoyed when Dean huffed and gave him an annoyed glare.

"Why the hell is he staying?"

"That's what I am going to ask, Dean, I'm just as curious as you" Castiel said moving over to him and kissing him briefly. "Stop freaking out and go meet Lil"

Dean glanced at the time he had ten minutes left and looked him dead in the eye. "Don't let him try or do anything"

"Like what?"

"Kiss or even come near you, he does and I'll kill him"

"Dean" he murmured rolling his eyes and grabbing his jacket. "It was nothing that kiss and you know it"

"Try telling that to the horny dick" Dean mumbled bitterly watching him get into his outdoor clothes and roll his eyes dramatically at him.

"Oh stop being so daft, Dean, I am going to tell him that I am 100% yours and yours only"

"Good"

"I love you"

"I love you too"

Castiel smiled weakly at him before opening the apartment door and walking out. Dean hit the side with his fist lightly and sighed looking outside. He couldn't exactly stop him but he knew if Balthazar was staying for Castiel then he would fight for him.

Castiel got out of the taxi looking up at the hotel Balthazar was supposedly staying at. He took a deep breath before setting off up the stairs and going to room 445. Castiel hammered on the door with his fist till a very pissed off Balthazar answered wearing sunglasses and only jeans.

"Oh…I thought you were that bitch of a cleaner, Cas" he murmured looking him up and down. "Come on in"

Castiel eyed him and wrinkled his nose at the smell. "What is that?"

"Something special" Balthazar slurred at him poking his nose. Castiel frowned looking around and noticing a clear packet of something green on the table.

"Drugs? Are you high?"

"Drugs are there to have. It's a way of life and for about two hours you forget reality" Balthazar said with a shrug. "Now why are you here of all places?"

"I came to see how you were and ask you why are you staying in California?"

Balthazar blinked alarmed and fell back on the bar stool.

"Who told you that?"

"Jo"

"Bitch"

"Balthazar!"

Balthazar waved a hand at him and sighed rubbing his forehead. "Because California is nice and I like it here"

"You're lying"

"Oh am I now?"

"You looked away to the right; I know you're lying to me"

Balthazar huffed out a laugh and picked up the joint in the ashtray and relit it. Castiel watched him in disgust as he inhaled deeply and let it all out with a sharp cough.

"I'm here because I want to be, darling, there's no harm in that and frankly I thought you would be over the fucking moon!" Balthazar protested removing his sunglasses. "You're always talking about how you never see me, well here I am princess"

"All of the sudden? Dean isn't happy with you being here"

"I couldn't care less what that pompous asshole thinks of me"

Castiel clenched his teeth together and looked down at the shabby carpet with a shake of his head.

"I'm getting nowhere, I'm leaving"

"Does he know about us?"

"Us?"

"Our little "test" we did"

"Yes, I told him myself and no he was not pleased"

"Did you tell him you kissed me first" Balthazar said with a tilted head.

"Why would I?" Castiel said confused.

"Because it was the other way around it would be different but you…you kissed me first"

"I was drunk" Castiel responded in a hard voice.

"So? We still we have our morals, our choices, and you chose to kiss me…"

"It meant nothing, I love Dean, I'm with Dean, and you're my best friend, Balthazar, and I don't want you torturing yourself over me. I want you to move on and find someone else and not fuck everything that moves"

"That's cute" Balthazar said grabbing the joint.

"You're different when you're high and drunk, this isn't you" Castiel whispered looking away from him. "You're my friend and I love you but that is all. You need to find someone, boy or girl, to love you like the way you are supposed to be loved"

"You could do that"

"No I can't"

"Yes you can you just won't let yourself"

"Balthazar, don't do this…" Castiel cried turning away and heading to the door only for Balthazar to jump up and grip his wrist pulling him back. Castiel swallowed hard fearfully when he looked up and seen piercing brown eyes look back at him far closer than he wanted.

"You want to know the real reason I'm staying?" he whispered stroking his thumb over his pulse.

"Balthazar, stop this…please I'm with Dean you know this" Castiel begged when he stroked his other hand down his cheek softly.

"You" Balthazar murmured. "I know you're with Dean but you know when you taste something for the first time and you really, really, like it and you want it over and over again? Well that's what it's like for me"

Castiel wrenched his hand away furiously. "Why are you doing this? I told you no!"

"Because when I want something I fight for it"

"I am not yours to fight for!"

"You kissed me"

"It was a test"

"No it wasn't"

Castiel glared at him balling up his fists. "I came here to ask you why you are staying and you have answered, I also came to see if you're okay but you're clearly not okay because this high, drunk, foolish, Balthazar is not the one who is my friend"

Balthazar looked down at the floor for a long second before sniffing and shrugging his shoulders.

"What the hell" he murmured.

Castiel frowned confused and was about to question him when he felt a shove on his shoulders till he hit the opposite wall and a warm mouth press against his. Castiel gasped against his lips and shoved him back alarmed.

"Why-why would you do that?" he murmured touching his bottom lip.

"You kissed me back"

"I…I didn't!" he protested in horror.

"I'm proving to you what we can be like" Balthazar cried when he headed towards the door.

"This right here, this is not you! My friend, the one who stuck by me all those years when I was fighting for my relationship to stay, to move to California, who egged me on in all those essays and exams is not here" Castiel shouted angrily. "I thought you would show me more respect than that"

"So what, I'm just supposed to move on from you? I've been in love with your stupid ass for nearly four years!" he shouted back moving closer to him. "Do you have any idea in that little brain of yours what it's like to be in love with someone who doesn't love you back? Stand back all those days, weeks, and months watching and keeping this a secret! No, you don't because you have your precious Dean and I have no one! I can't find someone, Castiel, because they aren't you! They can't make me laugh, smile, or even feel for one second what I feel about you because the moment I saw you in that park all those years ago I know I was going to be in deep shit"

Castiel stared at in horrified confusion while Balthazar breathed hard and moved away throwing a cup against the wall; Castiel flinched and pressed his lips into a tight line.

"You should have told me…"

"Oh yeah, "by the way, Cas, I know you are currently fucking your history teacher but I like you as well so please choose me" I don't think that would have gone down too well do you?" Balthazar said with a sneer facing the window.

"I'm sorry"

"Don't apologise, Cas, there is nothing to apologise for" Balthazar murmured reaching over and grabbing the bottle of wine. "This is my own problem and I deal with my problems the best way I can"

"By drinking and smoking yourself into oblivion" Castiel whispered feeling tears coat his eyes. Balthazar flicked his eyes towards him and let out a deep sigh.

"Don't cry, Cassy" he murmured turning to face him fully. Castiel shook his head looking down feeling hot tears stroke down his cheeks.

"You're this way because of me…it's all my fault" he whispered and looked up when Balthazar stood in front of him.

"Bullshit" Balthazar whispered with a dry chuckle. "I'm letting this happen because I'm weak, I'm foolish, and I'm a fool in love with someone I know I can never have but it doesn't stop me fighting for it"

"I can't be yours…I love him, he's everything to me"

"No he's not, you think that because he's your first love but there is so much more out there" Balthazar murmured stroking a finger over his cheek to catch the falling tear. "I'm sorry"

Castiel sniffed heaving out a sob and closed his eyes for a moment. Balthazar leaned forward kissing him softly, a brief brush of their lips, till Castiel opened his eyes and drew away.

"I have to go" he whispered reaching for the door. Castiel looked back to see him staring at the floor and inhaled deeply before walking out and shutting the door. Balthazar bit down on his bottom lip feeling his own heart and brain scream at him, _"What the hell was that?" _and he shook his head hating himself more than ever.

**~0~**

Dean arrived at ten to see Lily already there wearing pink overalls and watching him with clear interest as he opened up the Impala for her and showed her the mechanics.

"I might give you a little test, a written one" he teased when he handed her a soda. Lily cupped it with a small smile and looked up at him.

"I'd do it"

"Really?"

"Yes, I'd do anything for you"

Dean tilted his head with a frown. "What?"

"Within reason" Lily corrected with a teasing smile. If Lily was anything, she was an amazing actress. A whole act covered her day and she often believed herself she was a normal, working class, woman who was cut edge and working towards a better career. Lily watched the way Dean moved and talked with fascination and wonder. A small part of her wondered what it would be like to kiss him, hold him, or even stare into his eyes and know he felt the same way.

It was only when Lily's eyes drifted to the picture on his desk of himself and Castiel that her stomach flipped and turned. Dean wasn't hers.

"So how did you and Castiel meet?"

Dean turned surprised green eyes to her. "He never tell you?"

"No"

"High school"

"But you're older…?"

Dean smirked closing the lid and sitting on his chair. "I'm his ex-history teacher"

Lily blinked for a moment digesting that information and gasped. "You were his teacher?"

"Yep, he was eighteen and I was twenty six"

"Oh…wow, I didn't even know that" she murmured. "That was four years ago?"

"Yeah, we're still going strong" Dean said tipping his own can back. "We've had some pretty rough times though"

"What like?"

"Cas hasn't told you anything has he?"

"He keeps to himself"

Dean rolled his eyes and nodded. "He sure does…well its private so I'll leave it up to him to tell you but we've had the mother of all rollercoasters in our lives and it takes a person dying to realise how much you really love them"

Lily flinched back as it a nerve deep inside her. "I know the feeling"

Dean nodded and sighed placing it down. "We left Washington and came here to sunny California"

"I'm glad you did, both of you"

Dean narrowed his eyes only slightly and was about to respond when Castiel suddenly appeared looking flustered and upset.

"Baby?" Dean said concerned jumping up and forgetting Lily as he cupped his face. "What's happened?"

"Balthazar…" he murmured when Dean looked him up and down with fright in his eyes.

"What did he do?" Dean whispered in a cold voice.

"We argued, he was high and drunk off all sorts of drink…he was telling me he loved me and was going to fight for me. I told him no and I was yours but he wouldn't relent and he kissed me, twice" Castiel murmured in a low voice fully conscious of Lily sat yards away listening.

Lily who had overheard some of the conversation narrowed her eyes at the both of them.

"He kissed you…twice? I'm going to fucking kill that sonofabitch!" Dean shouted furiously making both Lily and Castiel jump scared.

"Wait, someone kissed you?" Lily breathed in shocked horror.

"It's not how it sounds and Dean!" he cried pulling him back. "No, it will do no good"

"Do no good? I am going to rip him apart!" Dean snarled feeling an anger flood through him. "That stupid sonofabitch does not kiss taken men"

"Dean, please…for me? He's still my friend" Castiel murmured cupping the back of his neck. "He just needs to move on from me"

"That is seriously unlikely, Cas" Dean hissed at him and then noticed Lily who was standing there with wide eyes and shaking fists. "Hey, Lil, maybe we can finish this off next Sunday?"

"Of course, Dean" she murmured turning her eyes towards him and staring at him for longer than necessary before shooting Castiel a sharp look.

Castiel swallowed and nodded at her apologetically when she walked out in a hurry.

Dean turned to look at Castiel and gripped his wrists tightly.

"Did you kiss him back?"

"No"

"Does he know where he stands now?"

"I don't think so"

"Are you going to stay friends with him?"

"Yes"

Dean huffed out disgusted and pulled back from him. "Let me punch him, Cas, please"

"No, it will end bloodily and you'll both be beaten down and I am not prepared to watch my oldest friend and partner fight"

Dean closed his eyes sitting down on his seat.

"He knows you're taken, he knows you're mine!" he hissed pressing a hand over his eyes. Castiel bit his lip walking over and pushing him slightly up to climb into his lap. Dean circled his arms around his waist resting his chin on his shoulder.

"I feel like I'm losing slightly" he whispered.

"Never, I'm yours, Dean, I chose you and I will always choose you" Castiel reassured him turning his face to press a kiss to his eyelids and nose. Dean smiled broadly and cupped the back of his hair kissing him hard.

"I feel like the whole world is laughing at us and I am waiting for something to happen" Dean said when they parted. "I have a feeling our bad luck isn't over"

Castiel watched him and leaned his head against his with a soft sigh feeling the exact same.

From outside of the garage, Lily hid listening to the conversation.

"_Take him, Lily, he's yours, he'll be perfect for you. Get rid of the competition" _

Lily opened her eyes and fought back the tears as she took off down the street running away from her own troubles and most of all the voice in her head.

Back in the hotel, Balthazar stood staring down at his phone and taking a long drag of a cigarette wondering if he had truly gone and screwed it up.

Castiel linked his hands with Dean who stared down at them wondering if they were strong enough to withhold against the upcoming storm. Dean could love him to the moon and back but it didn't matter in the end because attraction can wane and with both unaware of Lily's pain and intentions it was like a war coming at both sides.

**A/N: Thank you for the feedback! All requested reviews will be answered ;) **

**I love writing Balthazar/Castiel and that's very naughty of me but don't worry they won't sleep together because I get panicked reviews. **


	6. Chapter 6

It had been four days since the incident with Balthazar and Castiel had ignored any type of conversation with him. It made Castiel feel tremendously guilty but with the bitter and hurt look lingering on Dean's face made him think again. Things between them had thankfully not changed but there was a lingering tension between them.

"Dean?" he murmured one night feeling the warm presence missing. His eyes opened to see nothing but darkness and an empty space beside him. Castiel padded out of the bedroom to see him watching TV with a sullen tired expression, he tilted his head questioningly and sighed moving over to him.

"What are you doing up?" Dean murmured when he looked up.

"That was my line"

"I can't sleep, it was driving me insane watching you and the ceiling" Dean said rubbing his bridge and watching him as he dropped down on his lap. Dean wrapped his arms around him relishing the warm heat emanating from him and breathing in the smell of heat and sleep.

"You should have woken me up"

"You have uni later"

"You have work and teaching later, Dean, why can't you sleep?"

"Stupid dreams"

Castiel looked over his shoulder with a frown. "What dreams?"

Dean shook his head pressing warm lips to his shoulder cuddling him closer. "They don't matter"

But in fact for Dean they did. He dreamt he was forced to watch as Castiel kissed and touched Balthazar right in front of him. The pain felt real and it woke him up every time in a panic looking over to Castiel sleeping peacefully next to him and whilst he felt a sense of peace the despair over it still lingered.

Dean hated admitting it but he was scared of losing him.

Castiel leaned his head back twining their hands together. "They matter to me, you were there for me through my nightmares and I want to do the same for you"

"They're nothing, Cas, I promise" he said softly.

Castiel swallowed feeling and sensing the lie and hating that he couldn't tell him, he knew it was most probably over him and Balthazar. The bitter and hurt look wouldn't fade from Dean's face and no matter what he did it wouldn't fade.

"You know I love you right" Castiel murmured turning and straddling his waist. Dean smiled softly looking up at him and nodded pressing his lips to his collarbone.

"Guess what today is?" Dean whispered.

"Thursday?"

"We were packing up our lives to move here four years ago" he whispered with a small smile.

"Four years is such a long time"

"Best years of my life"

"Really?" Castiel whispered with a smile when he brought him into a kiss. "Mine too"

"Good" Dean murmured against his lips before deepening it. Castiel groaned clutching his arms when he shifted and pushed him down on the couch, he separated his legs so Dean fitted against him perfectly.

"Should I make you tired?" Castiel whispered arching his throat when he kissed down it greedily. Dean hummed against his adam's apple spreading his hands down his ribs and pushing them up to the warm skin underneath.

"Maybe" Dean murmured when Castiel bit his lip shifting around so he was pressing Dean against the couch. Dean closed his eyes with a soft groan when Castiel moved down his chest kissing and biting the soft skin gently. Castiel pulled down his underwear nuzzling the top of his cock, Dean gasped threading his fingers into his hair and moaned when he sucked gently on the head tonguing the slit and watching Dean whither and moan helplessly.

"Yes, fuck yes" Dean panted when he swallowed him down sucking and bobbing his head down as he sucked and grazed his teeth across the sensitive skin. Dean gasped arching his hips and fucking his mouth slowly needing to climax. Castiel stroked his inner thighs feeling them quiver and Dean moan helplessly before arching his back and clutching his hair as he came down his throat. Castiel swallowed him greedily till he was spent and oversensitive. Dean hissed when he let him go and moved back up to him looking down at his dazed green eyes and pressed his lips against his sweaty forehead.

"Tired?"

Dean hummed amused pulling him closer and rolling them so they were cuddled around each other.

"Sleep" Castiel whispered stroking his fingers down his face. Dean obeyed closing his eyes feeling boneless and happy for the first time all day and could feel the lull of sleep beckon him. Castiel watched him breathe in and out slowly and felt a sense of relief swim around him.

**~0~**

Lily was in the library attempting to finish her essay when she heard the other chair scrape back and Castiel drop down into it.

"Hello" he murmured.

"Castiel" Lily said in greeting dropping down her pen. "You look awful"

Castiel hummed pulling his bag towards him and pulling out papers. Since the incident in the garage, Lily had not received the whole truth from Castiel about what he had done. Castiel had shrugged it off, told her it was nothing, and to drop it. Lily was more than curious about what happened and all she knew was Castiel had kissed someone else.

It angered Lily in ways she couldn't explain to know that whatever Castiel had done had hurt Dean and she hated him more than she liked him.

"How's Dean?"

"He's…okay, he told me to tell you that Sunday is still on"

Lily smiled and nodded at him looking down at her paper to see squiggling words that made no sense. Her mind buzzed and she rubbed it absently feeling sicker than ever. Castiel blinked startled when his phone rang and stared at the name.

"Answer it" Lily snapped at him hating the irritating sound. Castiel glanced at her before pressing the answer button.

"Thank you! I have been calling you for four days"

"Balthazar" Castiel muttered leaving his seat feeling Lily's eyes burn into his back. "There is a reason I haven't been answering your calls"

"We're meant to be friends"

"We are but friends don't kiss their taken friends, Balthazar"

"I'm sorry"

Castiel sighed dropping against the wall. "What do you want?"

"I need you to meet me in Cindy's, I need to explain and….sort this out, Cas, I hate not speaking to you and knowing what I did upset you"

"Dean is still upset with me"

"I'm sorry" Balthazar repeated. "Just…please"

"Fine, when?"

"Now?"

"I have a free lesson, I'll be there momentarily" he said and ended the phone call. Castiel walked back inside ignoring Lily's questioning look directed just for him.

"Where are you going?"

"I have to meet a friend" he said collecting his bag.

"I thought I was your only friend" Lily teased him.

Castiel smirked at her pushing his bag on his shoulder. "You are but he's different"

Lily's smile was tight as she watched him walk out of the library and stared down at the table.

"_Follow him, Lily, take this chance"_

Lily turned her head slowly towards the door and grabbed her own bag following him. Castiel walked out of the university doors heading down the road to their local café where Balthazar would be waiting, Lily was close behind him as she ran to her car and started her up following him slowly down the street till he walked in. Lily parked the car down the street still able to see the café and could faintly see Castiel join the table of someone with sandy brown hair. Anger flared up inside her and she grabbed her phone taking out her sim and replacing it with a new one.

Castiel looked at Balthazar as he slid over a caramel hot chocolate.

"Peace offering" Balthazar murmured looking over to him. Castiel wrapped a hand around it and watched him carefully.

"Why am I here?"

"Because no matter what happened I am still your friend and I want to apologise for my behaviour towards you, Cassy, and I know you're taken, I know you will never love me as much as I love you but I can deal with that"

"By shoving me against a wall and kissing me"

Balthazar flushed red and looked away. "I'm sorry for that, you were right…I was high, I was drunk, and I wanted you"

"I'm not yours to take"

"I know and that's why I'm going to have to back off"

"Really?" Castiel murmured looking him up and down.

"Yes, we're friends and I don't want to lose you, Cas, but I am staying in California"

"I'm okay with that…Dean might not be but I can deal with him"

Balthazar rolled his eyes at him and nodded.

"I want you to move on, Balthazar, it isn't fair to you or even me that these feelings are stopping you from finding a relationship yourself"

"I know, I'm going to try" Balthazar said but Castiel could see the doubt in his eyes.

Outside Lily fixed her phone and found Dean's stolen phone number.

**Cindy's cafe, go now.**

Lily stared at the message for a long second wondering whether to send it.

"_Do it, Lily, send it. If you send the message, you'll get what you want. You want him, go get him" _

Lily let out a deep breath and pressed send squeezing her eyes shut. Dean would never know who sent the message and Castiel would never know it was Lily who sent it.

Back in the garage, Dean was humming along to the radio when his phone buzzed and he saw the unknown number. Dean read the message confused and looked around the garage and outside to see no one but himself, he looked at the car with a sigh and shrugged. Grabbing his coat, Dean wondered if it was Castiel using a different phone and called his number hearing it dial and dial but to no avail. The walk down was brisk and warm which Dean loved. It was nearly May now which meant summer was well on the way and the sun was burning hot.

Lily leaned back in her seat and sat up with a gasp when she saw Dean across the street looking seriously confused. Her heart thundered in her chest and she looked towards the café.

"Are we okay now?" Balthazar said with a tilted head. Castiel smiled at him and nodded.

"No violating me"

"I promise, just don't visit me when I'm drunk"

Castiel chuckled finishing off his hot chocolate and glancing at the time. "I have a lesson"

"I have job hunting?"

"Really?" Castiel said with a smile.

"Yes"

"Good" Castiel said brushing his hands and standing up quickly followed by Balthazar. Across the street, Dean stared at the café and blinked startled when he saw Castiel and Balthazar come out of the café. He stepped back hiding against the wall and couldn't tear his eyes away as Castiel smiled and said something to him which Balthazar responded with a chuckle and a flirty smile.

Castiel hugged him and Balthazar held him closer twining his hand into the back of his hair stroking it softly. Dean watched them in surprised confusion when Castiel pulled back arms still around his neck.

"That's a violation"

"I'm sorry" Balthazar murmured with a smile. Castiel pulled back and checked the time.

"I'll call"

"Yeah and don't leave me hanging for four days!"

"You kissed me and I have a very pissed off boyfriend, Balthazar"

Balthazar held up his hands and watched him take off down the street with a smirk. He turned on his heel walking down the street with a confident swagger neither one noticing Dean leaning against the wall hidden and fighting down the urge to vomit.

Lily watched Castiel walk up the street with hard eyes and a vindictive smile. Lily knew in her heart and mind that Castiel deserved this and he deserved to be caught for his own actions. Cheating in a relationship was one thing but betraying the one you supposedly love was unforgiveable.

**~0~**

Castiel returned home at 5pm to see Dean sat on the couch staring at nothing but the floor.

"Hey" Castiel murmured dropping his keys in the bowl. "Dean?"

"How was your day?"

"Good, I completed my essay and now I'm home with you so it's good" Castiel said grabbing a soda. Dean nodded once looking up to him with emotionless eyes, Castiel met them with a frown.

"What's wrong?"

"Did you…meet anyone?"

"I met Lily?"

"Anyone else?"

"No" he murmured dropping down next to him and following him with his eyes when he jumped up and moved away from him. Dean stared at the cream coloured wall not knowing how to feel. After watching what had happened outside Cindy's, Dean had walked home feeling numb and confused. The hug, the stance, everything between them seemed intimate from the smiles, the hug, and the touches. Dean felt a pain deep down inside him erupt penetrate his heart. It was hours later and the despair was still there but anger was replacing it.

"You're lying to me"

"What?"

"Don't lie to me!" Dean shouted turning around. "I know you saw Balthazar today"

"What?" Castiel said alarmed.

"I know you saw Balthazar today, Cas, because I got this" he hissed throwing his phone at him. Castiel caught it and stared down at the message.

"Who sent this?"

"Not a fucking clue but whoever did, they knew you were there with Balthazar! Why did you lie?"

"Because I knew you'd be angry at me seeing him, Dean, we've made up"

"Oh yeah, I'm sure you've made up and I'm sure you've been making a complete fucking fool out of me haven't you?"

"What?"

"Have you been seeing him behind my back?" Dean said in a low voice.

Castiel blanched staring at him in horror and shook his head. "No, Dean you know I wouldn't!"

"What I saw today outside of that café was no ordinary hug between two friends! I mean you've kissed that sonofabitch twice" Dean shouted at him watching Castiel flinch and stare at him in horror.

"They were nothing and that hug was nothing, it was all him!"

"It takes two to tango"

"If I had been cheating you would have seen the signs!" Castiel shouted getting angry and stood up. "Do you not trust me at all?"

"I don't know what to trust anymore…because that hug was intimate; it was something I would give you, Cas"

"I'm not cheating on you!" Castiel shouted at him and gasped when Dean reacted shoving him against a wall. Castiel gasped when his skull contacted against the wall with a loud smack. Dean heard him whimper clinging onto his wrists.

"Someone sent me a text telling me to go to that café! You've been lying to me all this time haven't you? The kisses, the hug, the lying, everything"

"I wouldn't…you know I wouldn't…" Castiel whispered tears coating his eyes. "I love you, you stupid dick"

"Clearly when you lie and kiss your best friend!" he shouted letting go of him. Castiel slumped against the wall feeling tears run down his face as he grabbed his phone and thrusted it at him.

"Call him"

"What?" Dean said looking over to him.

"Call him!" Castiel cried. "Or better yet…"

Castiel dialled Balthazar's number waiting for him to answer.

"Cas?"

"I need you to confirm to Dean that we are not cheating"

"What? Cas, is this…is this some test?" Balthazar said baffled. Castiel thrust the phone at him waiting for Dean who eyed it warily before snatching it and turning his back on him.

"Is it true?" Dean hissed.

"Is what true?"

"Are you sleeping with Cas?"

"What?" Balthazar exclaimed. "Is this some joke?"

"Tell me the truth, you sonofabitch before I find you and rip off your dick" Dean snarled down the phone.

Balthazar who back at his hotel sat up. "Where has this come from?"

"I saw you at Cindy's after an anonymous message and I need to know"

"You actually believe he's cheating on you with me don't you?" Balthazar said with a loud laugh. "I'm not that lucky, darling, Cassy is head over heels in love with you and he would never look at me the way he looks at you. You're rather pathetic to even doubt him, Dean, whatever happened at Cindy's or before that was all me, I initiated everything. That boy is in love with you and I can't actually believe you would doubt him"

Dean swallowed hard looking over to Castiel who was now sat on the couch looking away from him.

"I don't doubt him, it's you I don't trust!" he snarled.

"Oh how my heart bleeds!" Balthazar said with a sneer. "I don't care and I'm leaving now because this conversation is boring and unnecessary, I am not cheating or even fucking Castiel behind your back but if I was…I would rubbing it in your smug face because you don't deserve him, you've never deserved him"

The phone cut off and Dean looked at it. His anger was fading rapidly and he turned to Castiel who sniffing and wiping his eyes.

"What did he say?"

"That's you're not"

Dean walked around the couch to face him, Castiel's eyes were red rimmed and flooded with pain.

"How could you even doubt me? I thought you trusted me, I told you to trust me" Castiel whispered looking up at him with accusing eyes.

"You lied to me""

"Because I knew how you would react! This wasn't what I was thinking but it's the same difference"

"Lies ruin relationships"

"Accusing partners of cheating also ruin relationships" Castiel shouted at him.

"What was I meant to think? I don't give a rat's ass if the kisses were tests or mistakes! Do you have any idea how they make me feel? You shouldn't have done it! I told you to stop him…"

"How could I? Dean, he forcibly kissed me but that doesn't mean I'm cheating! He told me he's going to move on"

"Sure he is" Dean muttered with a shake of his head. "Someone warned me about this and you are judging me for even questioning you? What was I supposed to think?"

"You were supposed to trust me!" Castiel sobbed letting out a shaky breath.

"I do!"

"No you don't!"

"I saw you in that café and what was I meant to think! Forgive me for doubting you for one moment because, you're young, you're gorgeous, and he's your best friend who's just moved to California of all places to fight for you" Dean yelled at him.

Castiel looked down away from him with a quiet sob. Dean breathed out shaking his head and grabbing his jacket.

"I'm going out"

"You can't leave like this" Castiel whispered looking up at him.

"I need to get out of here, I need to think"

Castiel watched him leave and let out a small whimper. Gem who was hiding in the bedroom ran out and to her master who looked at her with a relieved sigh scooping her up.

"What's happening to us?" he whispered stroking her ears. Dean walked out of the main doors scrubbing his face and walking down the road for a much needed walk.

Lily who was sat in her silver car watched Dean walk down the road and stared up at the apartment. A smile flickered on her face as she leaned back in her seat and grabbed the sim snapping it in half. It was a cruel act even for her but Lily was running out of patience and it was time to act. No more standing back, no more waiting and longing, it was time for action and this was only stage one. Lily thanked the heavens for this Balthazar and started her car up ignoring the screaming voice in her head and headed home.

**A/N: I have such a writer's block. This took me two days to write. **

**Balthazar and Lily will never meet so there will be no partnership or relationship between them! So no need to worry or hope for it because it's not happening!**

**Enjoy, review, you know the score. **


	7. Chapter 7

It was nearly 11pm when Dean returned home to see Castiel waiting on the couch for him with Gem nestled in his lap. Dean swallowed slamming the door behind him and throwing his keys in the little bowl.

"Are you drunk?" Castiel said in a tired voice.

"No, I went for a long ass walk"

Castiel turned hard eyes on to him. "Typical of you to just run out on a fight"

"Excuse me?"

"Every single time we have a silly argument, a fight, or anything that conflicts us you run out like a little coward"

Dean stared at him with wide eyes before blinking and stepping in front of him. "Because I was pissed, Cas"

"Over nothing, Dean, I haven't cheated, I've done nothing wrong" Castiel hissed moving Gem from his lap who yowled and ran into the bedroom. "I've been sat here for hours wondering where you are, are you alright, and how to fix this but then I realised I have done nothing wrong"

Dean watched as he stood up and got into his personal space.

"How could you even think I would cheat on _you_, Dean, I'm so in love with your stupid ass that I wouldn't for one second think of sleeping with someone else. Balthazar may have kissed me, twice, once when we were drunk and it was a silly little test and the second one was a high, drunk, Balthazar who shoved me against a wall and violated my mouth!" Castiel said angrily. "It was never me and I can't believe you would excuse me"

"What was I supposed to think?" he growled.

"You were supposed to trust that I would never, ever, do that to you!" he shouted back at him. Dean's anger flared up inside him and he pointed a warning finger at him.

"I was sent a message telling me…"

"From who? Whoever sent this is wrong, they know nothing, and whoever it is trying to break us up, make us fight, and create this!" Castiel growled back at him. "You're an idiot!"

"An idiot?"

Yes, you are an idiot for even thinking that, Dean, four years together and you doubt me"

"You can't blame me" Dean hissed moving towards him. "What was I supposed to think when you have your arms wrapped around him like he's your damn boyfriend? Wrong way round, sweetheart"

"What I can't hug friends now? You're a paranoid, jealous, ass!" he shouted and gasped when Dean gripped his shirt shoving him back.

"Oh really? Well you're a naïve, stupid, child!" Dean yelled furiously.

They were inches apart and their breathing heavy as they both trembled with anger shaking in their frames. Dean didn't know who leaned in first but they were caught in a passionate clinch as they kissed furiously, Castiel gasped gripping his hair when he shoved him back into the wall with a hard bang. The force knocked him into Dean who kept him against the wall with a pull of his hair. Castiel tore his mouth away moving it to his neck and biting into the skin, Dean gasped gripping him.

"You sonofabitch" Dean panted when he sucked hard and reattached his mouth against his. Dean's tongue drove into his mouth harshly stroking inside and twirling with his as they fought for dominance, his hands wrapped around Castiel's wrists which he pulled up slamming them against the wall. Pain scorched through them and he moaned when Dean's mouth slid down his cheek and to his neck sucking along it hard.

"Dean" he moaned when he pulled his hands away and took off his t-shirt roaming his mouth over his chest. Castiel gasped leaning against the wall when his teeth scraped across his nipples and he licked them taking them into his mouth.

"Fuck" he whispered arching into him when his hands moved down shoving down his jeans. Castiel stepped out of them gripping the back of Dean's head as they kissed fierily.

"Stupid fucking…" Dean hissed stripping off his own clothing and picking him up so he could wrap his legs around his waist.

"Shut the fuck up" Castiel whispered harshly nails dragging against his scalp. Dean glared dropping him again and flipping him around so he was pressed against the wall. Castiel gasped leaning his head back when Dean slid down his underwear. It was rough, angry, and full of need which they both needed as Dean roughly applied the lube and scissored him wide open. Dean hissed at the tightness but didn't care as pinned Castiel's hands again and pushed inside him. Castiel cried out as he sheathed his cock deep into his ass and pulled out fucking him hard and deep.

"You're mine" Dean growled into his ear when he snapped his hips forward. Castiel moaned opening his legs wider throwing back his head against his shoulder, Dean thrusted deeper into him brushing against the prostrate and smiling when he cried out clutching his fists tight.

"Such a good boy" Dean whispered in his ear. "Or a good little whore"

"Dean" he whispered against the wall flattening his cheek against the wall listening to his heavy breathing in his ear and the sound of flesh slapping against flesh. His heart pounded and he rolled his hips back eager for more.

"Harder, Dean" he begged which Dean obliged feeling a sweat break out as he slammed deep inside him. Castiel felt stars explode in front of him as he nodded flattening his now free hands against the wall when Dean gripped his hips hard enough to leave bruises that wouldn't fade for weeks.

His orgasm came quickly as he pressed his forehead into his shoulder blades and climaxed pulsing deep inside him. Castiel moaned pulling his hand back to grip the short brown hair as Dean breathed heavily against him, he looked down at his hard cock bobbing and aching against the wall. Dean wasted no time flipping him around so he was facing forward and wrapping a hand around his cock.

"Don't close your eyes, stay looking at me" Dean ordered pressing him into the wall and staring at him with hard eyes. "You're mine, Cas, you've always been mine"

"I'm…yours" he whispered fighting the urge to close his eyes when Dean pumped him slowly and teasingly. "Please"

"Do you want to come?"

"Yes"

"Tough"

Castiel whimpered clutching at his shoulders so his nails were digging into the skin leaving red encircles. Dean looked into his eyes and smirked when he gasped arching against him when his cock gave him his release and he shot his load across his hand and stomach. Castiel moaned collapsing against his chest and on his shoulder; Dean moved his hand up to his hair stroking it softly.

"Angry sex against a wall is more than welcome after a fight" Castiel murmured when he looked up at him. Dean sighed tilting his chin and pressing a kiss to his lips softly.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" Dean whispered stroking his cheek. Castiel bit his lip wrapping his arms around his neck and moving with him as he picked him up so he could wrap his legs over his hips and carried him into the bedroom. Dean pressed him into the mattress kissing him softly and lovingly this time whilst Castiel stroked his cheek softly.

"I would and never will cheat on you"

Dean looked down at him staring into the honest deep blue eyes for a long minute and nodded.

"I know" he murmured dropping down in his side and holding him close. "I doubted you and I doubted myself and I'm the biggest dick ever for doing that"

"You should have trusted me, Dean"

"I do but am I not allowed to doubt you?"

"No, not after four years"

Dean groaned pressing his face into the quilt. "But I guess fights in a relationship are healthy"

"Really?"

"Dean, we aren't perfect and we never will be perfect…our relationship is a fighter and I love you no matter what you do or say because you're mine, you're my Dean and nothing will ever change that"

"I feel like shit" Dean murmured. "Are you sure we can't erase our past?"

"No, we learn from our mistakes and we move on from them"

Dean watched him for a long moment before growling low and pulling him on his chest.

"You're a pain in the ass"

"But I'm your pain in the ass"

Dean smiled at him and closed his eyes. "I really am sorry, Cas, I reacted…badly, seriously bad and…I can't take it back. I lost it and I freaked out because it didn't look right and he's in love with you"

"I don't love him though"

"It's not about love, Cas, there is attraction, desire, lust, and they can be brought up no matter what and because you're young it can happen"

"So because I'm nine years older than you that means I'm going to jump into bed with someone else?"

"No"

Castiel sighed trailing his hand into his hair as they rested on the bed. Dean turned to look at him and swallowed hard.

"Cas, I need you to do something for me"

"What?"

"Stop seeing Balthazar"

Castiel frowned pulling back to look at him. "What"

"Not forever but…for now, if Balthazar wants to get over you then you need to stay away and could you do it for me?"

"He's my best friend"

"I'm your boyfriend, Cas" Dean said feeling awful for asking but it needed saying. "I need you to see it from my point of view"

"I know" he murmured softly.

"I hate asking for this but I need you to do it, just for a while" he whispered biting his lip. Castiel nodded pressing his forehead against his.

"I have caused enough trouble"

"Don't be stupid"

"Oh calling me stupid now?" Castiel said pulling back with a raised eyebrow. Dean rolled his eyes pulling him into a kiss.

"Shut up" he hissed. "We have a lot of making up to do"

**~0~**

Lily sat in her dark room staring at the mirror in front of her. Her phone rested in her hand as she looked down at the voicemail from her adopted mother, Violet. Lily's biological mother died in childbirth which Lily was told made her into a bad luck charm. Lily was placed into care immediately when a father was never discovered; Lily was the result of a sordid nightstand with an unknown man.

When Lily was two years old she was adopted by Violet and Henry Grace, a rich married couple who longed for a child and could not have their own. Lily was not adopted for love and longing, she was adopted for show and parenthood. A child made them the highest in front of their friends, a child who was beautiful, clever, and well trained.

Lily grew into a loveless childhood with parents who constantly shunned her, blackmailed her, home-schooled her so she would not have the friends she deserved, and called her names that stuck. It was when Lily hit fifteen she met Mark in a park. He was all alone with his pet dog and when Lily fell off the swing, he ran over to help. From that moment on, Lily escaped to the park when her lessons were over and hung out with Mark.

Lily fell in love with her one best friend who loved her back. Lily loved him like no other and the love back was foreign to her but she relished it. Her parents didn't find out till five months into their relationship because they weren't interested in her life, they were selfish and thought of themselves.

Lily lost her virginity to him and when she hit seventeen years old, Henry handed her $150, 000 and told her to get out. Lily left moving in with Mark into a penthouse suite. Lily was happy for the first time in her life, she had love, she had a house, she had money, and she was away from the adopted parents who caused such misery in her life.

It was a year into the move when Lily and Mark argued. Lily told him he was a waste of space and he called her an insane, clingy, bitch which resulted in screams and crying from both till Mark decided to make it up to her. Mark left for food that she didn't really want and on his departure she shouted to him that she meant every word not knowing what would happen.

It was hours later that Lily received a phone call from Mark to her relief and listened in horror as a strange man told her Mark was dead. Mark had skidded on an icy patch on the road impaling the car and himself on a pole at the side of the road.

Lily's grief knew no bounds and she had no one. Violet and Henry called her the day of the funeral telling her they couldn't attend. Lily stood at the graveyard surrounded by his parents, his friends, and other people she didn't know, she stood there in the pouring rain letting it soak into her skin as she stared at the grave. Twenty years old, young, fresh-faced, and dead in the ground because of an icy patch.

Lily blamed herself completely for his death and with no one to turn to, Lily shut down completely giving over to her sickness and letting the voices take control. She convinced herself that the voice inside her head was her dead mother haunting her mind.

So here she was a year and five months later after his death and the grief was still near. Lily pressed the answer button.

"_**Lily, it's mama, you're father and I are in town this weekend and we wish to see you. I accept a call, Lily Grace, by tomorrow or we will not contact again." **_

Lily threw her phone away curling into a small ball.

"_Kill him"_

"No" Lily moaned clutching her hands over his ears.

"_Destroy him, kill him, Lily, you know you can do this."_

"No!" Lily screamed grabbing her pills and emptying them into her hand. "No more"

The voice in her head screamed and she sobbed swallowing them down. "I need him"

"_Take him"_

"Not Dean!" she shouted getting up and wringing her hands into her hair. "Not Dean"

"_Mark? He's dead because of you, you disgusting disgrace. How could you let him die? You killed him, you killed him, you killed him"_

Lily clutched her head clutching the bottle in her mind and throwing it hard against the mirror watching it crack the glass and slide down to the floor. Lily stared at the reflection in her mind, the crack covering her face and she laughed openly.

"It's like a representation of my life" she whispered touching the splintered glass. "He died in cold weather, I didn't kill him"

"_But he died because of you"_

"I know" she murmured taking her hand away and moving to the bed. Lily dropped on the bed and sat cross-legged.

"_Kill him, Lily, destroy his life and you can have Mark again"_

"Dean?"

"_Yes, he can be the replacement"_

"Castiel is my friend"

"_Not anymore, he's the enemy…get rid of him" _

Lily sobbed pressing her face into her knees covering her ears feeling the pills slowly work in her system till the throbbing in her mind ceased. She looked up through her curls and padded out into the kitchen pulling out the small vegetable knife and stared at the point.

"Why must I be the bad luck charm? Why must I be the murderer of my own real mother" she whispered and threw it in the sink when her eyes moved over to the picture of herself and Mark on the nightstand. Her eyes filled with tears as she grabbed it.

"My life is a lie, my smiles, my laughs, and my fake façade is a lie because no one looks hard enough these days. They see a smile and they nod, they look away, and they don't see the real damage" she whispered touching the picture. "You did, you always knew…I wonder if he's the same?"

Lily placed the picture on the side and turned with a sniff. Her plan was set in her mind as she walked into the bedroom and looked at the bedroom wall. The picture of Dean and Castiel was stuck on her wall and she stared at it for a long moment before grabbing a black marker and stepping on the bed.

"I'm so sorry" she whispered as she scribbled furiously over Castiel's face till it was nothing but a black smudge with a body. "But it's my time now"

Back in the flat, Castiel looked over Dean who stared back kissing him softly as Castiel forgave him with touches, caresses and kisses. It was an intimate and sensual, just what they needed.

"I love you" Dean whispered into his ear when Castiel climaxed inside him for what felt like the fifth time. "I'm sorry"

Castiel kissed his fingertips pressing against his chest in a silent act of forgiveness. It would take time but is time what they had?

**A/N: I want you to pity and hate Lily because she's just insane. She'll do anything to get what she wants and she's very sick as well. **

**Angry wall sex for, Hana, you asked for it and you shall receive! **

**Enjoy, folks. **


	8. Chapter 8

Dean stood on the balcony looking at the sunrise and smiled when he felt warm arms surrounded his waist and lips press into his shoulder blades.

"Why are you awake?" Castiel murmured resting his cheek against his back.

"Woke up early" he murmured grabbing his wrist and pulling him around so he was leaning against Dean's chest. "You always smell amazing in the morning"

Castiel frowned tilting his head backwards and peeking up at him. "You're strange"

"Thanks" Dean murmured kissing his forehead. "Such a lovely compliment, Cas"

Castiel chuckled and let out a sigh. "Dean?"

"Yes?"

"I keep thinking…who sent the message? It had to be someone who knew about us, who knew about Balthazar"

"Not necessarily, whoever saw you probably thought you were cheating and warned me"

"But who?"

Dean sighed pressing his lips to his shoulder and shrugged. "I don't know"

"Whoever it is wants to break us apart"

"Or warn me"

Castiel scoffed shaking his head and linked their hands together.

"Why are we constantly surrounded by bad luck?"

"Bad luck magnets"

"I hate it"

"I know, I feel the same"

"It feels like something is trying to rip us apart…my father, our age difference, and now this"

Dean nestled into the crook of his neck feeling exactly the same. They just couldn't catch a break and Dean wondered where there happy ending was.

"We're strong, Cas, stronger than I ever thought and nothing is tearing me away from you…ever" he whispered into his ear. "I sound like a big girl"

Castiel smirked amused. "No, Dean, you sound like someone in a relationship fighting to save us and what we have…not a big girl. I'm gay and if you were, we wouldn't be together"

"You'd want me whatever gender I was"

"Oh really?"

"Yeah, I'd be…Deanna" he muttered and smiled when Castiel laughed loudly into the morning air.

"I would be with someone else" Castiel said turning his arms. "I don't do woman, only men"

"Men?"

"Man" he whispered pressing his lips against his. Dean sucked on his bottom lip gently feeling it swell underneath his teeth and looked into his eyes. Castiel moaned wrapping his arms around him and jumping up to wrap his legs around him. Dean walked him over to the table placing him down and devouring his mouth.

"I'm not one to turn down sex but outside?" Dean whispered when Castiel slipped his hands into his black bottoms.

"Let's be adventurous" Castiel purred slipping them down and smirking when Dean gasped as the cold air touched his ass cheeks. Castiel licked his bottom lip slowly hearing Dean's breathe hitch when he dropped down on his knees licking a stripe on the underside of his cock. Dean gasped fisting his hands into his hair well aware he was outside. Castiel took off his mouth blowing warm air on the sensitive head; Dean moaned low tossing his head back rocking his hips slowly into his warm mouth.

"Fuck" Dean moaned loudly when Castiel deep throated him suddenly. Castiel missed his gag reflex and hummed appreciatively around his cock sending vibrations through Dean who gasped clutching his hair tighter.

"Cas, oh god, Cas" he whispered and bent forward climaxing deep down his throat. Castiel gagged a little surprised but settled swallowing him down. Dean closed his eyes swaying and gasped when Castiel pulled his pants up and stood up smirking.

"You're…you're naughty" Dean murmured pressing against him. Castiel looked at him and tilted his head at him.

"You seem surprised" he whispered. Dean opened his eyes and turned his head stilling.

"Cas…"

Castiel looked up at him and turned his head to see the little old lady across the street on her own balcony staring at them open mouthed.

"Oh my god" Dean cried. "Good morning, Mrs Evans!"

Mrs Evans turned away and hobbled inside quicker than they imagined. Castiel flushed a deep red looking at Dean before spluttering with laughter.

"Now this is why we don't have sex or blowjobs outside, baby, because little old ladies with heart conditions watch you give me an orgasm" Dean said fighting back his laughter. Castiel spluttered and shook with laughter.

"I have uni, I gotta get dressed" he murmured unwrapping his arms. Dean hummed slapping him on the ass as he went and peered over the side to the sidewalk. He felt a sense of relief through overshadowed by the buzz of his orgasm. It was hopefully the start of a good day.

Later that day, Castiel arrived in their café at lunch ready for food and spotted Lily staring out of the window.

"Hello" he murmured with a smile. Lily turned towards him with wide eyes and nodded at him.

"Castiel"

"Are you okay?" he said with a frown noticing the darkness shadowing her eyes and her puckered brow.

"Never better" she said with a tight swallow. Castiel pressed his lips together knowing something was up with her but couldn't put his finger on it.

"Long time and no see, folks!"

Castiel turned to see his one other friend, Michael Light, arrive looked tired but tanned.

"You're back" he said amazed and smiled when he dropped down on the seat next to Lily who flinched away from him. Michael winked at her and looked at Castiel.

"Yeah, I arrived back last night. Florida is amazing! We should all go next summer…so what I've missed?"

"Apart from lessons?"

"Tyler doesn't mind" he said with a shrug. "I'll be the surgeon I have always dreamed about"

Lily looked over to him and he met her gaze.

"How is the beautiful, Lily?"

"All the better for seeing you, Michael" she said with a tight smile. Michael laughed leaning back and running a hand into his dark brown hair.

"I'm having a party later, it's my own welcome home party and you're coming, Cas" he said leaning forward and pointing a finger at him. "Will the boyfriend mind?"

"No, he won't mind"

Lily blinked looking over to him feeling a sense of alarm. The last thing Lily knew was Dean storming out of the apartment, she had no idea what had happened after and knew she couldn't ask without blowing her cover.

"Have you met him yet?" Michael said looking over to Lily who nodded. Michael gasped looking over to Castiel who shrugged.

"I like her better than you"

Lily bit her lip looking out of the window feeling a pounding in her head that just wouldn't fade.

"So Lily meets him but I can't?"

"You were in Florida!"

"Why can't I meet him now?"

"Because I said so and we're dealing with stuff at the moment"

Lily looked over to him slowly. "What do you mean?"

"Someone text Dean telling him to go Cindy's café where I was meeting Balthazar, Dean saw us and accused me of cheating on him"

Michael gaped at him shocked glancing to Lily who stared at Castiel.

"What happened?"

"We fought, words were exchanged, and…we ended up having rather angry sex up against a wall" Castiel replied and sipped his coffee amused when Michael wrinkled his nose in disgust and Lily swallowed hard.

"I'm glad" she whispered looking down and away from him.

"Disgusting, right, are you coming tonight?"

"Yes, Lily?"

"Yes"

Michael nodded satisfied and moved away. "9pm, my place, and don't be late"

Castiel nodded at him watching him take off and leave for his first lecture. Lily looked up at him and frowned.

"Do I have to go?"

"Yes, if I'm going so are you"

"You don't need me"

"Lily, you're my friend and so is Michael, he wants us there so we are going to be there"

Lily stared at him for a long moment ignoring the voice in her head encouraging her to hurt and destroy him, she hated that she had to hate him now; she had to destroy him, and destroy this relationship.

"Do you have any idea who text Dean?"

"Not a clue" Castiel replied circling his pinkie around the rim of the cup. "But I do wonder who it could be"

"Maybe in time they'll reveal themselves"

"I hope so"

Lily collected her things together and cocked her head at him. "Shall we go?"

Castiel nodded watching her stand up and head towards the door. His confusion peaked and he turned his head to look at Lily. Could it have been her? Castiel knew that Lily had found out about what happened between him and Balthazar but how would she know about Cindy's café?

Castiel was in conflict and didn't what to think it was Lily but everyone was a suspect.

**~0~**

"Michael is having a party?" Dean said watching him get changed into more casual but smarter clothes.

"His own welcome home party" Castiel murmured running a hand over his cheek and turning to look at him. "Don't worry, I won't get drunk"

"I wasn't worried"

"Yes, you are"

Dean glared at him for a second before turning his attention back to the television and flicking through them feeling bitter.

"Dean?" he said standing in front of him and kicking his legs down. "You know nothing will happen"

"That you know of"

"I won't let anything happen"

"Promise me you won't do anything stupid or drink so much alcohol we're sleeping in the bath"

Castiel smiled a soft smile just for him and nodded. "I promise"

"I hate worrying about you when you go out"

"It's protective like any partner should be"

Dean hummed reaching for his hand when he gripped it and brought him up placing a tender kiss to his lips.

"Three hours tops" he whispered letting him and letting his hand linger on his cheek and chin. Dean sighed watching him grab his jacket and pull it on.

"You look sexy"

"Really?"

"You're gorgeous, Cas, you know that"

"I love you" Castiel murmured with a smile.

"I love you more"

"Impossible" Castiel said grabbing his keys and walking out. Dean folded his arms when the door closed and looked over to Gem who stared at him.

"Why do I have a bad feeling, Gemstone?" he whispered to her. Dean had the same feeling he felt when Castiel was kidnapped by his own father and the end results ended in disaster.

Dean kept the phone close to him and dropped down closing his eyes.

Castiel knocked at the red door of Michael's little two bedroomed house and was greeted by the smell of smoke and alcohol.

"There he is!" Michael cried dragging him inside and Castiel saw people he recognised and some he didn't.

"Where is Lily?"

"Living room"

Castiel walked into see Lily in the corner of the room dressed in a cute silk red dress, she looked up at him when he walked over to her.

"You look stunning"

Lily blushed a faint rosy pink and inhaled softly. "So do you"

"When did you arrive?"

"Ten minutes ago" she said with a shrug. "So far, everyone has ignored me"

Castiel scowled deeply at the surrounding people, he didn't blame her for disliking them because he disliked them also. In his mind, they were smug and up their own asses on what they knew. Lily handed him a drink which he took willingly and tipped it in her direction.

"Don't let me get drunk"

"Oh?"

"I promised, Dean"

"I'm sure" she said narrowing her eyes at him. Castiel smiled when Michael walked over and wrapped an arm around his shoulder.

"Fittest blonde ever hitting on me but has the intellect of a dust particle" he whispered in his ear with a snort. Castiel eyed him amazed.

"Are you drunk?"

"Nope, just because I've been drinking since four does not mean I am drunk, Castiel Milton, with your weird ass name and gay boyfriend"

"He isn't gay, Michael, he's bi-sexual"

Lily looked up at him startled. "Dean is bi-sexual?"

Castiel nodded once glancing back to Michael who laughed and stalked off. Castiel sipped his beer feeling a little of his awkwardness slip away when people he knew in lectures and around the university spoke up to talk to him. Lily stared at him with hard eyes and moved away swiftly to the bathroom.

"_Do it, Lily, destroy him!"_

Lily winced shutting the bathroom door and pulling the bottle of pills from her bag. Lily took out two tablets and lay them down on the seat. Taking hold of a cup in the bathroom, Lily smacked it down crushing the pills into a fine powder. Collecting it back in the tub, Lily walked out and joined Castiel who was laughing openly with another student.

"Another beer?" she said with a sweet smile. Castiel looked at her and glanced at the now empty bottle in confusion.

"Sure" he murmured with a nod. Lily smiled walking off to the kitchen and grabbing a bottle from behind a couple openly kissing in front of her. Her jealously drove her forward as she popped the cap and moved into the empty closet looking down at the bottle.

"_If you don't do this now, you'll lose him forever"_

Lily stared into the darkness and shivered feeling ebbs of fear; she didn't hesitate to pour the powdered tablets into the beer. Lily was going to poison him and moved back into amidst of people chatting and laughing.

"Cas" she called handing it over. "I had to fight another girl for this"

"My saviour" he said with a smirk and tipped it back swallowing a mouthful.

"Yes, your saviour" she whispered sitting down and placing her own beer to the side and watching Castiel sip the contents.

It was two hours later when Castiel was starting to feel the full effects of the beer.

"I've had…I've had like four beers though" he slurred to Lily who nodded slowly.

"Dude, you are wasted" a voice said next to him.

"But I can't be" he whispered and stood up feeling the room sway, his vision blur, and his hearing dim a little. "I need to get home"

Lily sat back in her seat simply watching him stumble towards the door.

"Are you not going to help him?" a young girl said in concern.

"No, he'll be fine" Lily responded sweetly.

Castiel's stomach churned and he felt vomit rise in his throat as he stumbled and felt it flood out of his throat. He stepped out on the warm street heading towards home, the thoughts of home, Dean, and sleep drove him forward as he stumbled, swayed, and vomited on the ground below him. Castiel had never felt like this before and he was terrified. Tears pricked his eyes as he reached the apartments and pushed on forward till he collapsed against their door.

Dean jumped alarmed out of his sleep and hurried to the door, he opened it and gasped at Castiel on all fours on the floor.

"Cas?" he whispered dropping to his knees and picking him up gently. "I told you to not get drunk!"

"I'm not…Dean, I swear…I've had about four beers…something is wrong, Dean" he whispered gripping him and lurching forward sweating and throwing up all over the floor. Dean stared at the white coloured vomit in surprise.

"Baby, look at me" he insisted tilting his chin towards him when he swayed looking at him unfocused. "Cas! What's happened?"

"I don't feel right, every-everything is so heightened, I feel…" he trailed off eyes rolling back as he slumped to the floor. Dean gasped sharply gripping him tight and shaking him.

"Cas, baby, open your eyes" he shouted shaking him hard. "Don't do this to me, don't you dare do this to me"

Dean was panicking and he could feel it as he dialled 911.

"Ambulance please, my boyfriend, Cas, he's just come home from a party and he's unconscious…I think he's been drugged" he whispered and he knew it felt right. He had watched enough programmes to know the symptoms.

Castiel lay on the floor pale as a ghost, vomit covering his mouth and shirt, and eyes half hooded which freaked and terrified Dean to the point of hysteria. Dean was right and as he hovered over Castiel coaxing him awake he knew deep down in his core that this was not an accident. He couldn't explain why but he knew it was a targeted, nothing had been right for a few weeks.

Tears streamed down Dean's cheeks as he stroked Castiel's cheeks and ran to the door when the ambulance arrived minutes later to his relief. Dean covered his face in despair when Castiel was taken away needing urgent assistance.

Outside of the apartments hidden in the shadows of the other houses, Lily watched the scene unfold with a sense of pride.

"_Well done"_

Lily smiled flicking her keys up in the air and catching them as she hummed a song and walked down the street. Lily wasn't evil but when she wanted something, Lily got it. It didn't matter what the consequences were, not anymore.

**A/N: Don't hurt me. I'm so mean to them! I create drama and angst but you can't blame me I mean we all watch the same show. There is no such thing as happiness, well not yet. **

**Enjoy, review, guys and gals. **


	9. Chapter 9

Dean hated hospitals. It disturbed him that he had saw this place more in the past few years than his whole life and it ended in one person in particular laying in the hospital bed. Dean's relief was like a beacon when the doctor came in three hours after Castiel was brought in to tell him he was alive and stable. His stomach had been pumped and he was more than lucky to be alive.

Dean hovered outside of the room seeing Castiel strapped to machines and still unconscious. Nausea swept through him and he moved inside watching him breathe in and out.

"Cas, you stupid bastard" he whispered dropping down next to him. "I hope you realise that you are never ever leaving my side again. I can't even let you go to some stupid party without you getting spiked"

It was 3am in the morning and Dean was exhausted. He couldn't understand what had happened and the doctor informed him that his drink might have been spiked or Castiel took drugs under the influence of drugs. Dean knew he would never do that and drugs weren't his area and never would be.

"Baby, wake up" he murmured pressing his lips against his knuckles. "I need to see your eyes…remember last time? This is too scary, Cas, I need you awake and smiling"

Castiel remained motionless on the bed still fast sleep and unaware of anything around him. Dean sighed resting his head on the bed shutting his eyes tight cradling his hands, Dean knew he must have fell asleep because when he reopened them he felt a gentle tugging in his hair.

"Cas" he gasped looking up to see blue eyes looking back at him. "You're awake"

"Or I'm actually dead and you're my heaven"

"No, you're very much alive" Dean muttered moving forward kissing him hard and cupping around his neck. "But you nearly did"

"I feel like a constant target for death"

"Stop getting killed then" Dean said with a light chuckle stroking his cheeks. "Shit, Cas, what happened?"

"I don't know" he whispered in reply. "I felt strange…wrong, I had four drinks, Dean, and I felt like my insides were burning away and nothing made sense"

Dean cast his eyes over him concerned and pressed his lips on his forehead, cheeks, and mouth.

"You scared the shit out of me!" he hissed clutching his shoulders hard. "They said you either took drugs whilst drinking or you were spiked"

"Drugs? Dean, I wouldn't take drugs you know that"

"I know, so that means someone spiked one of your drinks, Cas"

His eyes went wide as he stared at him and he swallowed hard. "I can't remember anything"

"At all?"

"No, I remember…I remember arriving and finding Lily…but that's it" he muttered looking away from him. "Why would someone spike my drink?"

"I think it's targeted, Cas" he whispered.

"Why?"

"All these strange things are not just circumstances, the phone calls, the text message and now this?" Dean murmured linking their hands together. "Whoever did this, Cas, tried to kill you and in the worst way…you could have died and you were seriously lucky I got you to hospital in time"

"I always owe you my life"

"I love you, I'm not about to let you die on the floor"

"I'm scared" Castiel admitted looking up to him.

"I know, I am too, but I swear no one is going to touch you now" Dean said placing his forehead against his and kissing him softly. "No more parties"

"I promise"

"We'll find out who did this, Cas, I won't stop till I know who did this to you" he murmured watching him settle back and close his eyes.

"I'm so sleepy and my stomach hurts" he said with a whimper.

"Sleep and that's because they pumped it" he murmured softly brushing his hands over the top of his stomach. "Sleep the pain away"

Castiel sighed letting his head fall into his hand and drifted off to sleep. Dean stared at him feeling a sense of alarm and protectiveness wash over him. He wasn't about to let this lie but he had no way of knowing who did this. It was a student party with a lot of other students who unlike Castiel liked to do drugs and it was possible he picked up a beer that had drugs in it but Dean couldn't know. In his heart it felt an attack but with no evidence to support this claim he had nothing. Dean trailed his fingers into the silky dark hair and moved down pressing his lips to his temple, he wasn't one of praying but right now he was more than thankful for this.

Dean was vigilant by his side all night long watching the rise of his chest and pressing two fingers against his pulse just in case, he knew it was reckless but he was on the edge. Castiel woke again around 7am to see Dean asleep in the chair and smiled squeezing his hand gently; Dean woke up immediately looking over to him.

"Hey" he murmured arching and stretching out his back before moving over and kissing him in greeting. "How did you sleep?"

"Like a baby" he murmured softly running his hand into his own hair and peering around. "I keep forgetting I am here"

"You should be able to go home today"

"Good"

"Anything come to you from last night?"

"No"

Dean frowned stroking his thumb down his cheek. "Okay, well we'll get you better first"

"You make it sound like I've been through a life changing ordeal, I was spiked, Dean, it happens"

"Not to you"

"Yes to me" Castiel said shifting and wincing at the soreness in his stomach. "This is just another hurdle, Dean"

"You think you deserved to be drugged? You nearly died, Cas, you are so lucky to be alive right now! Alcohol and drugs don't mix!"

"I'm not saying I deserved it, Dean, but it's our bad luck"

"What?"

"Our bad luck…Dean, I've been tortured, shot, and now spiked with drugs, all of that spells out my life and my luck" Castiel said looking up at the ceiling. "Our bad luck is doing this"

"That's bullshit, Cas! Our bad luck has fuck all to do with this, this has happened because someone is that screwed up in the head!" Dean shouted at him. "You didn't deserve any of that and you've nearly died three times, Cas, I can't look at you in a hospital bed anymore"

Castiel bit his lip inhaling a shaky breath and held out his hand for him. "Come here"

Dean walked over and sighed sitting on the bed next to him and manoeuvred so he was lying next to him.

"I know" Castiel whispered to him in a soothing tone. "I'm just trying to find sense around everything, I don't want to dwell on it and let it control our lives"

"So what…brush it under the carpet?"

"No, we just carry on as we are and not let it control us" Castiel murmured resting his palm against his cheek. "Dean, it was either a mistake or someone deliberately set out to harm me, we'll never know"

"Not unless we ask"

"Do you think they will honestly answer you? Half of that party was either drunk or stoned and the other half sitting in a corner or making out with so called partners"

"Lily might know"

"Lily was sat in the corner"

"She could have seen"

"She would have called by now, I don't think she knows I'm here" he muttered thinking back. "I better call her"

"Nope, she can wait" he said shaking his head. "Total bed rest"

"Bed rest?" he muttered with a small smile.

"Total, I want you fighting fit"

Castiel smiled when he ducked his head nuzzling his neck. "Well I will need an exercise regime, Dean, a vigorous one…a little rough and nicely handed"

"Squats?" he teased.

"No, I like to be more closer together, a lot sweatier, and full of nice appreciating sounds"

"Running"

"Dean!" he murmured slapping his arm. "You know exactly what I mean"

"Yes, swimming" he replied and chuckled when he sighed loudly and turned his head away.

"I know exactly what you mean and don't worry, there is going to plenty of…swimming" he purred into his ear and smirking when he shivered and turned towards him.

"Good, fancy swimming now?" he whispered.

"In a hospital? You kinky sonofabitch" he murmured shaking his head in mock horror.

Castiel winked at him pulling him into a heated kiss which Dean answered with a moan.

"Morning boys!" a voice said and they separated to see the nurse looking at them amused. "The heat in this room, settle down tigers"

Castiel flushed looking at Dean who rolled his eyes hopping off the bed.

**~0~**

Lily stared up at the apartments and pressed her lips into a line considering before setting off towards them and walking through the doors easily. Her memory was great at times as she looked at the number 22C and knew instantly it was their door. Lily stepped forward eyeing the door and peered under the welcome mat seeing nothing and over the lamp near the door seeing nothing. Lily closed her eyes with a sigh and tried the handle knowing it was a stupid attempt and gasping when the door opened.

Her eyes went wide when she seen the sick on the floor and understood. Dean left without locking the door in a hurry to get Castiel to the hospital. Lily slipped inside and bit her lip feeling giddy as she looked around the apartment she had never been in. Her excitement peaked as she walked around the living room and trailed her fingers across the leather sofa and cocked her head staring at the photo frame on the stand. It was of them both in a little back garden looking happy and content; it reached inside of Lily and pulled at her heartstrings and not in a good way. She placed it down face down and walked around the kitchen opening the cupboards to see a mix of healthy and non-healthy food that she made notes of.

A meow startled her and she gasped turning to see, Gem, sitting on the couch staring at her.

"Hey, kitty" she murmured walking over slowly and stroking her gently. Gem purred accepting her much to Lily's relief.

Her direction took her into the bedroom and she looked at the large made bed in the middle and walked slowly over stroking her fingertips on the cover till she reached one of the pillows. Lily picked it up inhaling the smell and sighing recognising it as Castiel. She wrinkled her nose in disgust and threw it down before darting over to the other side and dropping down on the bed; she buried her face in Dean's pillow inhaling softly. She laid there for a long minute before getting up and walking over to the wardrobe, Lily opened it up to see clothes, one side Castiel's and one side Dean. On the door of one side that she guessed must be Castiel's was littered with photos. Lily looked over them seeing some faces she didn't recognise and most of them with Dean, her eyes narrowed and she took each one of him and Dean off the wardrobe.

Being daring, Lily took a blue shirt from Dean's side and hid it in her bag along with the photos. It made her giddy with excitement as she circled the room and ran out towards the bathroom.

"This must be yours" she whispered picking up an aftershave and inhaling it deeply. "Lovely"

Lily sprayed a little on her wrist and placed it down carefully. Lily roamed the rest of the flat looking at their food, drink, and anything she could document in her mind. She placed herself down on the sofa looking around before hearing a noise outside and jumping up startled. Lily gasped heading towards the door and heading out, she looked outside to see an elderly man walking his dog and breathed out in relief.

Lily took a moment before glancing in her bag and nodding to herself before taking off down the stairs and out of the block of apartments. Her feet took her back to her sanctuary.

**~0~**

"You can go home" the doctor said to them both. "Just discharge yourself at the desk"

"Thanks, doc" Dean murmured with a smile and then glancing at Castiel who looked up at him. "Let's get home"

"Good" he murmured taking his hands to be pulled up and steadied himself. "I still feel a little woozy though"

"Doc said that would be one of the side affects" Dean replied looking over him and sighing. "I keep thinking this is a dream"

"Why?"

"Because you're alive and kicking fit"

"Not exactly kicking fit, Dean" he murmured pulling on his t-shirt with a groan. "I ache all over, I want to vomit, and I swear I'm still drugged"

Dean smirked brushing a hand into his hair and bringing him forward into a brief kiss.

"You're going to be fine, let's go home, rest, and figure some things out"

Castiel smiled weakly letting him lead the way as they discharged from the hospital and got a taxi home.

"Should I tell Gabriel and Anna about this?"

"No"

"Why not?"

"Because you'll freak them out, Cas, and I don't want them all over my case"

Castiel frowned looking over to him. "Why would they do that?"

"Because I'm supposed to protect you, Cas, I'm supposed to look out for you and make sure you're safe…this wasn't supposed to happen and especially not to you"

Castiel sighed looking out of the window and pressing his hand against the coldness.

"I want to sleep"

"You can do when we get in"

They arrived at the flat and Dean went for the handle frowning when it opened.

"Shit"

"You left the door open?"

"Sorry, I was attending to my drugged out and dying boyfriend" Dean said turning slowly to face him.

"You left the door open, Dean" Castiel said exasperated and moved in. "Gem!"

Gem jumped off the couch running towards them and he smiled scooping her up.

"Hello, beautiful"

Dean stepped in and grimaced at the mess on the carpet. "You're cleaning that, sunshine"

Castiel eyed the sick and nodded placing her down and looking around the apartment satisfied.

"Well nothing has been robbed" he said nodding at the television and other items scattered around the place.

"No one would rob the place, silly"

"You hear about this all the time, Dean"

"Oh shut up"

Castiel rolled his eyes moving towards the bedroom and sighed loudly in relief seeing the bed. It was a nice comforting thought that he could sleep for a few hours before they did anything about what had happened to him. He moved towards the wardrobe and threw open the doors peering in when his side of the door caught his eye.

"Dean?" he called scanning the missing pictures.

"Yeah?"

"Come here please"

Dean stepped in and came towards with a quizzical expression. "What?"

"Our pictures are missing, did you take them down?"

"No, why would I?" he said stepping beside him and looking at the door confused. Dean swallowed looking into the wardrobe and moved forward taking out an empty hanger.

"My best blue shirt…" he said looking over to Castiel.

"That wasn't me, Dean; you know I'm too small for your clothing"

"Well where is it? I hardly ever wear it, Cas"

"Dean, our pictures are missing and your shirt! What…" he said trailing off and looking around. "Someone took them"

"Cas…"

"Well where are they then?"

"I don't know!"

Dean glanced around and rubbed the back of his neck. "Are you sure you've not put them somewhere?"

"What? No, I haven't touched them since I put them up"

"Okay…why would someone take our pictures and my shirt?"

"Why would someone spike my drinks with drugs?"

Dean regarded him carefully and nodded. "You think it's targeted"

"You said something was up, Dean"

"It doesn't feel right no…the phone calls, the spiked drink, and now…this. Something is up" Dean said carefully.

Castiel swallowed wrapping his arms around himself. "But who?"

"I don't know" Dean murmured with a shake of his head.

**~0~**

Lily hummed to herself lying out all the pictures of Dean and Castiel on the floor. The shirt she had stolen lay next to her in a folded pile neatly done and she took her time looking over all the photos. Taking her marker, Lily carefully scribbled out over each of Castiel's face till it was nothing but a black blue. Lily chuckled and didn't stop till every single picture was ruined. Pressing her wrist against her nose, she inhaled the musky smell of his aftershave and pulled away with a small giggle.

"_Get rid of him, Lily, once and for all"_

Lily inhaled looking to the right of her and shook her head.

"I can't"

"_You're weak, you're pathetic, and you'll never be good enough for anyone, Lily Grace"_

A single tear rolled out of her eye and she pressed her face into the shirt.

"Leave me alone"

"_You know what to do, Lily, destroy him once and for all…you'll get the real thing this time and not an old shirt. Get rid of Castiel and take what is rightfully yours"_

Lily blinked looking up and turning her head to look down at the photographs. The blurred mess over the photos scared her and she nodded.

"What is rightfully mine" she whispered resting her palms on top of them and clutching her hands together crushing and ruining the photos underneath like it was a life underneath her palm. She knew what she had to do but it was the matter of planning it and succeeding in what she had in mind.

**A/N: I have no idea how long this is going to be but it will NOT be as long as Forbidden. It could be three more chapters, it could be ten I just don't know but it looks like it's heading towards it climax. **

**Enjoy and thank you for the reviews! **


	10. Chapter 10

Dean didn't sleep a wink that night as he watched over Castiel curled comfortably at his side. Every ten minutes, Dean would press his fingers over Castiel's pulse feeling it pulse calmly under his fingertips. A sense of relief would flood through him and he would press his lips to the back of his neck shutting his eyes. Dean knew it was dramatic and over the top but after all these years and everything that had been dealt to them, he had every right.

Dean shifted turning his head to see it was 4.32am and groaned inaudibly. It had been an overly long night for him and he sighed looking over to Castiel.

"Why are you awake?" Castiel mumbled startling Dean who leaned over him pressing a gentle kiss to his temple.

"Can't"

Castiel hummed reaching around and linking their hands together before nestling into his pillow with a sigh.

"Go make a hot drink"

"I'm okay"

"Liar"

Dean smiled amused resting his chin on his shoulder. "Why are you awake?"

"You woke me up when you turned around" he murmured feeling the lull of sleep pull at him.

"Sorry"

"It's okay but you can make it up to me by going to get a hot drink, it'll help" he whispered turning to look at him with half closed eyes. "I feel bad that I'm sleeping and you're not"

"That's my decision"

"Dean"

Dean rolled his eyes nuzzling his ear and rolling out of bed. "Fine"

Castiel watched him leave and sighed pressing his face into the pillow and drifted back off to sleep slowly. Dean stood in the kitchen squinting under the bright light and sighed putting a pan out and pouring milk into it. He heard a patter of feet and turned to see Gem walking over and circling his legs with a purr.

"Not the only one then am I" he murmured picking her up and stroking her head. "It looks like me and you are team, Gemstone"

Dean poured syrup into the milk stirring it in and poured into the mug and walked back into the bedroom. Castiel jumped awake when he felt movement next to him and rolled over seeing a small black head and bright blue eyes stare at him.

"Gem?"

"Looks like we're a team" Dean murmured blowing it and sipping his drink. Castiel scowled when he turned on the lamp and rolled over looking up and over at him.

"Really?"

"Yeah" Dean said with a small smile. "How are you feeling?"

"A bit better"

"Good"

"You're an ass" Castiel murmured covering his eyes.

"Baby, I love your pillow talk"

"Good because you're an ass and I'm tired!" he muttered.

"You told me to get a hot drink"

"Drink it in there"

"No"

"Ass"

"Love you too"

Castiel sighed wriggling under the covers, Dean smirked glancing at the lump and swallowed a hearty gulp before switching off the lamp.

"Cas" he sang pulling the cover back. Castiel huffed covering his eyes and ignoring him, Dean raised his eyes to the ceiling and pulled him over wrapping his arms around him.

"You're a grumpy old man when you're tired"

"I'm tired, you're annoying"

"Seriously, keep up the pillow talk" Dean murmured rolling his eyes. "Sleep"

Castiel nestled into his chest listening to his heart beat over and over again sending him back into a sleep. Dean closed his eyes resting his head on top of his and breathed out in relief. Dean prayed their bad luck was over.

**~0~**

Many hours later Dean's mobile rang and rang persistent in his ear.

"Fuck sake" he hissed opening his eyes and seeing one new message. He opened it to see one new message from Jess.

**Skype now!**

Dean bit his lip looking down to Castiel who was now awake looking up at him.

"Jess, pass the laptop" he murmured watching him lean down on the floor and handing it over. Castiel sighed moving over and shifting in between Dean's legs so he was leaning against his chest. Dean let him take charge as he balanced it on his lap and set up Skype. Ten minutes later they were faced with the wrath of Jessica Moore.

"What the hell is this?" she shouted towards them. "Hey, Jess, Sam, and babies, just a quick message to say that me and Cas nearly split up but we didn't. Plus, Cas was spiked and nearly died but he didn't. D."

"Dean!" Castiel said outraged.

"Yes, Dean! What the hell has happened between the last time we spoke?"

"Jess" they heard and Dean blinked when Sam came into view. "But she is right, Dean"

"Shut up, Sammy"

"You tell us right now, Dean Winchester" Jess replied in a warning tone.

"Fine! There's been something weird going on, happening to us, things like silent calls, anonymous messages, spiking Castiel's drink at a party and now stealing items from our flat" Dean said looking at Jess who frowned confused.

"Seriously?"

"Yes" Castiel said interrupting. "They text Dean telling him to go to a café where I was meeting Balthazar and he assumed I was cheating on him when I wasn't"

"Dean" Jess said shocked.

"It looked intimate!" he protested.

"But now things are weirder and the spiking…"

"It sounds like a stalker" Sam said interrupting her.

"A stalker?"

"Spiking, weird phone calls and messages, and…stealing?" Sam said looking to Dean who nodded. "Stalking the both of you"

"I did think that" Castiel said glancing up at Dean.

"You did?"

"It sounds reasonable, Dean, the photos of us and your shirt is not someone playing games, this is serious"

"You need to call the police now" Jess injected.

"What? They'll do nothing but ask stupid questions and sit around with their thumbs up their ass!" Dean said. "This is our business and we can handle this ourselves"

"You're getting stalked, Dean, they've broken into your home, attempted to murder Castiel, if this is real then this is dangerous!" Jess protested.

"She's right, Dean, do you have any idea who it could be?"

"It could be anyone; it could be someone we know or a complete stranger!" Dean said holding up a hand to Castiel. "I will protect him"

"Do Gabriel and Anna know?"

"Not yet" Castiel murmured sheepishly.

Jess looked over to Sam who met her gaze. "You have to tell someone, Dean"

"I'm telling you guys"

"No, someone more important like the police"

"Am I talking to myself here? The police are dicks and aren't going to do fuck all"

"They will try and find out who it is!"

Dean glared at them both and looked down at Castiel who swallowed.

"Maybe they're right, Dean, this could be serious"

"Or a stupid game"

"Dean…"

"I have work" he muttered moving him away and climbing out of the bed. Castiel followed his movements and looked back down to Sam and Jess.

"I'll talk to him"

"If he won't you have to, Cas, if this is any form of stalking then they have to know! Already your life has been tested and you're bloody lucky to be alive" Jess said leaning forward. "We care and we can't do anything to help because we're not even in the same state so take my advice and call the police before it's too late!"

"What if we're wrong?"

"All those signs, Cas, the phone calls and the sneaking into your home to rob certain things…that it isn't normal" Sam said peering into the camera. "You know we're right"

Castiel nodded looking back to the open door. "I know"

**~0~**

Later on that night whilst Castiel was doing a nightly shop, Dean opened the car bonnet in anger and sighed glancing into it, he knew Sam and Jess were right. After much deliberating all day, Dean decided against the police for now. They needed more evidence otherwise it was theories and nothing more.

"You look troubled"

Dean turned to see Lily standing at the door with a cocked head and folded arms.

"Lily, did Cas call you?"

"I heard he was drugged…how dreadful" she murmured in a cool tone. "Thank heavens he survived"

"Yeah, yeah, of course" Dean replied with a nod. "What are you doing here? Lessons are on Sunday"

"I don't want lessons, I want something else"

Dean turned towards her and dropped down the bonnet. "Like what?"

"It's a curious thing love isn't it? Attraction, lust, love, and all those tingly feelings…they're just curious" Lily murmured stepping inside looking him up and down. "Once you fall in love that's it don't you think? Falling in love with that one person…you found that didn't you?"

Dean narrowed his eyes and nodded slowly. "Yeah, I found Cas"

"People say you only love once but that's a lie…you don't"

"I loved once, I loved a woman but she broke my heart and then I found Cas"

"So you can love again easily" she said facing him.

"Not necessarily, it depends how deep the love is" Dean said with a furrowed brow. "Example being your first love, the one you fell in love with the first time and realised what true love is"

"That was the woman?"

"No" Dean said shaking his head and looked down at the floor shaking his head. "That was lust and what I thought was my true love"

"Let me guess…Castiel" she said staring into his eyes.

"Yes, I was nothing without him"

Lily looked away from him and nodded. "You know he isn't all that faithful"

"The kiss?"

"Kisses"

"They were nothing, Lily, you know that"

"You don't" Lily said turning to look at him and moving towards him. "You don't trust him"

"Yes you do"

"No you don't, why would you suspect the love of your life to cheat on you?"

"How did…"

"He told me, he tells me everything" she said with a small smile. "Now why would you excuse the one you are so in love with that he was cheating?"

"I had my doubts, everyone has their doubts"

"Do you know how rare love is? I mean real love…that kind of love that you would die for them?"

"Yes"

Lily nodded moving an inch closer to him. "I had that once, a long time ago, and I am fully prepared to do it again"

"What are you talking about?" he whispered when she moved into his personal space.

"I'm perfect for you; we are perfect for one another. You don't love, Castiel, not truly, I mean if you did you wouldn't think for one moment he would cheat on you" she whispered pressing her hand over his heart. "I would never cheat on you, Dean, Castiel has cheated on you twice because they weren't tests…they were real and I would never hurt you"

Dean stared at her with wide eyes. "Lily, what are you…"

Lily shushed him and moved closer very gently before kissing him hard. Dean gasped and struggled pushing her back, Lily stumbled staring at him when he gasped and moved away from her.

"What the fuck!" he cried staring at her horrified. "I'm with Cas!"

"He doesn't love you!"

"What the hell is wrong with you, you stupid girl!" he shouted touching his lips. "I-I have no idea what is going on but this is stopping right now"

"Stopping?"

"Look, Lily, I don't know what's happening here but you have been given the complete wrong impression about this"

"This?"

"This arrangement, these lessons, Lily, I'm sorry but I'm with Cas" Dean said throwing up his hands. "Remember him? You're best friend?"

"My best friend" she said with a nod. "Sure, I remember him, I always remember him but do you? I remember when I first came here on my own and you checked me out"

"No I didn't…"

"Oh yes you did, your eyes were all over me" she said smugly. "But it's always about him isn't it? Precious Castiel, the whore who spreads his legs"

"You're insane" Dean said shaking his head at her and moving to his desk. Lily watched him with an open mouth and laughed suddenly making Dean jump and stare at her wide eyed.

"We're meant to be, Dean, and you know when someone is in your way, for example, in a street you want to push past them and get them out of the way completely" she said sliding her fingers up to the car and over it. "Well this is like that, I have to get rid of the opponent, like my mom wants me to"

Dean swallowed reaching for his phone and gasping when Lily moved forward. His mind was going into overdrive as he watched her and saw the wildness in her eyes. Dean knew it deep down but wasn't quite ready to grasp it.

"Have you figured it out, Dean?" she murmured looking him up and down. "I mean, think about it carefully"

"No…"

"Oh there it is" she said with a sweet smile. "I'm doing this because I want my happily ever after and you are my little puzzle piece"

"Lily, what are you talking about?"

"You'll only stop me, Dean, so I'm doing this because I have to…because I was meant to be meet you all those weeks ago for the very first time" she whispered. "Because it's fate"

"What…" he said but couldn't finish his sentence as Lily grabbed the wrench on the side and brought it down hard knocking Dean to the floor unconscious. Blood dripped from the head wound at his side while Lily watched and threw it away.

"_Well done, my brave Lily Grace"_

Lily snatched out her phone dialling Castiel's number.

"Castiel, yes it's me, Castiel I need to come to university now…the science labs…it's not closed I have a key…the side door near the tree" she said. "It's an emergency, please"

After confirmation Castiel would join, Lily hung up and dropped down to crouch next to him.

"I hope you said your goodbyes this morning because I promise you when this is done you will thank me, we will be together, I promise" she whispered stroking her hand into the bloody hair. "It's just fate"

Lily left the garage and headed towards the university with one thought in her mind, getting rid of the opponent.

**A/N: This is ending quicker than I realised. Oh well. **

**Enjoy. **


	11. Chapter 11

Castiel dialled Dean's number and sighed when he received voicemail.

"Damn it, Dean" he muttered shoving his hands into his jacket and heading towards the university. He had his suspicions about Lily, he couldn't put his finger on why but her distance and lack of not answering calls made him suspicious and curious.

Castiel stared up at the now closed university and headed towards the door Lily had told him to go through. A nervous feeling swept through him and he opened the door poking his head around the dark corridor and swallowing hard.

"Lily?" he called stepping in and jumping when the door clicked loudly behind him. In the distance of the building he could hear the whir of a hoover going off and sighed looking around.

"Lily?" he shouted. "I'm here, you called me"

Slowly the lights in the corridor flicked on and he looked up at the ceiling alarmed.

"Hello, Castiel" Lily said stepping forward both of her hands in her coat pockets. "I'm glad you came"

"Why am I here? Why are you here? It's after hours…no one is here expect the cleaners, Lily"

"Because it's the only place I could think to do this, to do what must be done" she said in a cool determined voice"

"An experiment?"

Lily laughed and shook her head. "Has Dean contacted you?"

"No, well not recently but I keep calling him and he won't answer" he said with a shrug. "Why?"

"Do you want to know why he isn't answering you?" she said stepping closer to him, her heels tapping and echoing in the halls loudly.

Castiel eyed her suddenly feeling rather scared and nodded.

"Because he's currently lying in his garage unconscious, I pray that the wrench I knocked around his head hasn't done any damage to his beautiful head" she said folding her arms. "There was a bit of blood"

The breath inside Castiel escaped in a harsh puff and he stared at her in complete horror.

"What?"

"You're exactly the same aren't you? Always questioning, always wondering, haven't you figured it out?" she shouted making him step back from her. "I mean it was a little difficult but you still haven't figured it out have you? It's just remarkable what an act can cover up, I smile and you take it because you don't see me, you see the happy, smiling, Lily Grace"

"It's you" he whispered stepping back from her. "You're…stalking us?"

"Ding, ding, ding, 100 points for the cute doctor over there" she said raising her hands up.

"You shouldn't have introduced me to him all those weeks ago"

"Since then?"

"Oh yes"

Castiel gaped at her when she simply stared at him. "You spiked me"

"You should be dead, the pills I slipped into that beer were enough to kill a man and lucky you survived it all"

Sick flooded in Castiel's throat and he gasped moving away and hitting a wall. "You're sick!"

"That's one word for me"

"You tried to kill me?"

"Yes"

"Why?"

Lily looked him over and nodded looking down at the ground. "Because of Dean, I want him because he reminds me of Mark, Castiel, that sweetness, that tenderness, and the love he holds in his heart for you is what I want! Why should you have him? You're a little whore, Castiel; kissing other men like that…I reckon you've spread your legs for many more"

"You text Dean"

"I also was behind the silent phone calls, the messages, and I also have those delightful photos!" she said with a small smile. "I scribbled out your face and cut them out; if you like I can give you a bag full of your heads"

"What is wrong with you?" he whispered in horror.

Lily bit her lip and shrugged looking away with breathless laughter. "Everything and more"

"This is insane! You can't…Dean is my partner, not yours, and he certainly can't be Mark"

"I don't want him to be Mark!"

"Then what do you want!"

"I want you dead" she whispered in a cold voice, her eyes maliciously dark. "That's what she wants"

"Who?" he whispered looking down the corridor confused.

"The voice" she said tapping her head.

Castiel throat convulsed and he stared at her with wide eyes. "You hear voices?"

"Voice, it's the voice of my biological mother"

"Isn't she dead?"

"Yes, but that doesn't matter"

Castiel inhaled closing his eyes and opened them looking away.

"You're not well, Lily, hearing voices is not normal. You are not hearing your dead mother and Dean can never be the Mark you want, Mark is dead and he's never coming back"

"Don't you think I know that? Dean can be his replacement" she said moving towards him and poking him hard in the chest. "You know nothing about me"

"You never told me"

"You never asked!"

"Well tell me then" he hissed.

"I met Mark when I was only fifteen, I was adopted into a loveless family, a mother and a father who couldn't care less about me…he was my saviour in every single way. I fell so in love with him that it hurt when we argued or we fought, he is the love of my life. The night he died was the night we had our biggest argument and I called him a waste of space, an idiot, and then he went out for me, to get us food, and I told him I meant every word… I didn't really; I just wanted to hurt him and I waited hours for his return" she said and looked up to Castiel with bleary eyes. "Do you have any idea what it's like to get a phone call from a stranger to tell me that his car hit a skip and impaled himself? Do you have any idea what it's like to learn the one you love is dead!"

"No"

"No, you don't and after tonight you never will"

"Why Dean?" he whispered moving off the wall and edging away from her.

"Because he's perfect for me, I'll cheat, I'll never lie, and I'll certainly never hurt him"

"By killing me?" We're together, Lily, I love him and he loves me…do you really think getting rid of me will get you Dean?"

"I don't know but I can try" she whispered and stopped removing a scalpel from her coat pocket. "I think cutting your own head off will be a start!"

"Lily, don't do this, don't listen to that voice in your head!" he shouted at her when she cocked her head like a woman possessed.

"It's been with me since Mark died"

"Because you're a sick woman, Lil, you need help" he said desperately. "This isn't the way! Murder, killing, and stalking people is not right, Lily, and you know that"

"I know nothing anymore" she whispered pointing it at him. "All I know is I have to get rid of the opponent"

"Killing me!" he said backing away from her. "Lily, please…"

"I'm sorry" she whispered softly. Castiel ducked when she swiped at him and turned on his heel pushing her against the wall.

"Stop this"

Lily gasped freeing her hand and managing to cut a sharp line across his hand. Castiel gasped in pain letting go of her and taking off down the corridor, he ran and heard her coming fast behind him as he darted up the stairs clutching his bloody hand and found the nearest cleaning cupboard. Castiel held the door fast with his bloody hand and scrambled for his phone dialling Dean's number.

"Come on" he hissed hearing it dial and exhaled shakily when he heard the door go and footsteps echo.

**~0~**

Dean's head throbbed and he could feel a vibration and a noise surrounding him. He opened his eyes to see the wheel of the car he was working on and a wetness covering his hair and neck.

"What" he whispered and sat up clutching his head. "Lily"

Dean looked down at his jeans and fished out of phone answering the call. "Cas?"

"Dean, oh thank god" Castiel cried closing his eyes in relief. "Are you okay?"

"Well I'm covered in my own blood and I'm lying on the floor of my garage but that is not our biggest problem"

"Lily, yes I know, she's here with me in the university…Dean, you have to get here now!" he said urgently holding the door back when Lily attempted to open it.

"This is useless, Castiel, open the door!" she shouted.

"Did you hear that?"

Dean grunted getting up and nodded. "Yeah, what's she trying to do"

"Dean, she's the stalker and she's trying to kill me"

"Where are you?" Dean said grabbing his jacket. "Cas, where are you?"

"University, the labs, call the police"

"I'll be right there"

Dean hung up and dialled 911 straight away. "Police to the UCSF now! My boyfriend is about ten seconds from being stabbed by a manic girl, the labs"

Dean hung up and sprinted towards the university without a second thought to his current state.

Castiel held onto the door fast. "Lily, don't do this!"

"I have to do this!" she shouted at the wood of the door. "You don't understand…"

"I understand that you're not well, you're not mentally stable, Lily, you stalked us! How is that healthy and normal?"

"I did it because I had to"

"Everyone has a choice" he said closing his eyes and gritting his teeth at the pain in his hand. "This is the wrong choice"

"Why can't I have my happy ending?" she whispered and gasped when a door opened and an out of breath Dean arrived.

"Lily" he said breathing hard when she pointed the scalpel at him.

"Oh" she said cocking his head at him. "He called you I see"

"Lily, what are you doing" he said noticing the blade was coated with blood.

"I'm doing what I have to"

"Killing Cas? Lily, you're not a killer"

"How would you know?"

"Because I've got to know you, those lessons when you opened up bit by bit…I saw you, Lily, and this here…this is insanity"

"It always wins" she whispered looking at the closed cupboard door and back to Dean. "She wants me to do this"

"Who?"

"The voice in my head is telling me to do this"

Dean blinked and nodded. "Okay, you hear voices…"

"Voice!" she hissed at him. "It's always there, Dean, I can't get rid of it! Pills don't work"

"You stalked us"

"It was the only way I could get to know you"

"By stalking us? You nearly killed Cas didn't you?"

"It didn't work" she said with a sigh. "Did you ever think it was me?"

"I had my suspicions"

Lily chuckled looking at the door where Castiel was pressed against the door listening to every word.

"Of course you did, you know he's cheating on you"

"He isn't"

"He's a dirty little whore, kissing boys, spreading his legs for anyone who breathes on him" she murmured with a smirk. "The love of your life…"

"You're a liar" Dean said shaking his head at her. "How could you possibly think I would be with you? You kill Cas and I just fall in love with you?"

Lily swallowed staring at him. "You could"

"No, I couldn't, Lily, because I love him"

"You can love again"

Dean shook his head and covered his eyes feeling a dull pain radiate down his neck.

"I can't love anyone else"

"Why not?"

"You spoke to me before about love, true love, that kind of love that is rare…I have that and he's currently bleeding and hiding in that cupboard. He could die and I'd still carry on loving him, Lily, just like you love Mark"

"He's gone"

"I can never be him, I can never love you like he loved you, I can't be him, Lily, and you know that. You're clinging on to his memory because that's all you have now and you're searching for that love in someone else…I'm taken" he said moving towards her slowly. "This voice inside your head is controlling you"

Lily bit her lip feeling tears shadow her eyes and she looked down at the lino. "I just want him back, I want to be loved again, and I need someone to be that person"

"That person is gone…Lily, hurting Cas is not going to make me love you or make anything better" he said closing in and holding out his hand. "So give me that"

Lily looked up at him with her cheeks covered in track lines from her tears. "I never wanted to hurt him; not really, he's my one and only friend"

"Please" he whispered looking at the scalpel and back to her. Lily slowly passed it to him and watched as he threw it on the floor out of reach.

"Stand over there" he instructed watching her back away and hit the wall with a sob.

"Cas?" he murmured knocking on the door.

Castiel swallowed opening the door to reveal Dean who looked him over. Castiel inhaled sharply seeing the blood coating Dean's shirt and threw his arms around him clinging to him.

"Are you hurt?" Dean murmured and drew back when Castiel shrugged showing his hand.

"It's nothing, how's your head?" he whispered looking at the blood.

"Sore but I'll live" he replied pressing his lips to his forehead.

Lily watched them and swallowed hard not knowing what to do or say. Sirens erupted outside and she gasped staring at the doors and back to Dean.

"You called the police!" she said in horror backing away from them.

"I had to, Lily, this is a serious offense" Dean said drawing his arms away from Castiel.

"You need help, Lily" Castiel injected looking at her. "They can give you that"

"No, no, no, they'll lock me up! They'll send me to a mental asylum and torture me!" she cried hysterically snatching the scalpel on the floor up. "No!"

Lily took off as the doors opened and the police came in.

"Lily no!" Castiel shouted running after her closely followed by Dean and the police. Lily ran down the hall and down the stairs back towards the labs. Lily ran towards the only open lab and pointed the scalpel at the cleaning lady.

"Run if you want to live" she said breathing hard. The cleaner dropped the mop and nodded frantically, Lily stepped aside letting the woman past. Lily slammed the door shut and looked around desperately, she darted forward turning on the gas valve and switching on all the taps around the room. Lily choked when gas started to flood in the room and looked at the door waiting.

Dean watched as the screaming cleaner lady ran past them. Dean, Castiel, and two policemen ran to the door and opened it up.

"Holy…" the policeman said stepping back with a cough. Castiel stood at the door covering his mouth and coughed.

"Lily, what are you doing?" he called being held back by Dean who eyed the room warily.

"An epiphany" she said with a choke. "I'm going to go see him"

"Who? Mark?" Dean said confused.

"Ding, ding, ding" she whispered staring at them all. "If I go with them, they will lock me up forever. I'll never be a nurse; I'll never have a job, a life, a relationship ever again!"

"That's not true" Castiel pleaded "You're just not well, the grief has made you ill"

"I can see him again"

"This is ridiculous" the policeman murmured.

"What's your name?" Dean said looking over to him.

"Victor Henriksen"

"Well, Victor, do you have a solution?" he hissed at him.

"Dean, don't" Castiel whispered looking to Lily who was crying.

"I can see him again" she said going into her pocket and pulling out a box of matches. "One light…and boom"

"No!" Castiel cried shaking his head. "Lily, you can't!"

"I'm sorry, Castiel, I'm so sorry for what I did to you…for what I did to Dean" she said brushing her tears away. "I was out of control, I just…I want him back and I saw him in Dean"

"It's okay, Lily, okay, I forgive you…just please come out" Castiel pleaded and went to move towards her when she held up the matches.

"One more move and I blow us all up"

"Find a way to turn off the gas from outside" Victor murmured to the other policeman who nodded taking off speaking into his jacket. "We need to get out now"

"Not without her!" Castiel said struggling against Dean's hold.

"Don't be stupid, Cas" Dean hissed dragging him back. "This is serious"

"She's going to blow herself up!" Castiel shouted at them both. "Lily, please"

"Dean, you know I'll do it" Lily said with a small smile before coughing erratically. Dean watched her and looked at Castiel.

"Victor, you got kids, a wife?"

"Yes, a wife and a daughter" he said confused.

"Well get out now, take him with you" Dean said dragging Castiel who yelped and gasped when Dean shoved him towards Victor.

"Dean, no!" he protested "Dean, she'll kill you both"

"Get out, both of you, I'll get her out" he said looking to Victor who studied him for a moment and nodded.

"Dean!" Castiel shouted when Victor gripped his arm tight hauling him away. "Dean, please!"

"I'll be right behind you!" he assured and watched as Victor took away a struggling and protesting Castiel.

"Bold move, Dean" Lily said quietly with a cough leaning on the desk. "What are you going to do? Pull me out of here?"

"If I have to…Lily, this is madness"

"That's my middle name if I had one"

"Lily, you have no idea what happens in the afterlife" Dean said feeling a little desperate. "You might never see him again"

"I won't know until I try" she whispered with a small sniff and opened up the packet of matches. "You better get out of here, Dean; you don't want Castiel turning into me because he loses the one he loves"

"Lily, don't do this"

"You can't stop me" she murmured taking out the small match and staring at it. "This is the only way now…it's my fault he died, Dean"

"No…"

"Yes, yes, it is and I can never, ever, forgive myself for what I did to him and now to you two" she said with a small laugh. "How am I supposed to live on with this guilt, this loneliness, and this despair?"

"That's life and we take it every day at a time, Lily, because we have to. People die every day"

"Yes, they do don't they" she murmured looking up to him through the gassy haze. "Like I said, Dean, you better run for your life"

Dean stepped back watching her hold up the box and the lighter.

"One last thing, tell him I'm so sorry and yourself…my mind wasn't my own"

"Don't do this" he pleaded one last time in desperation.

"Run" Lily hissed at him. Dean moved away from the door staring at her tearful eyes with no emotion. They were blank just like her expression and she nodded watching him give in and take off running down the corridor.

Outside, Castiel fought with the policemen who restrained him down as a fire engine came screaming into the scene.

"They both could die, you have to go back in there!" he shouted angrily.

"We can't, sir, it's too dangerous"

Castiel huffed out in annoyance turning towards the university and looking at the people surrounding the area talking in hushed tones. He bit his lip willing Dean to come out and moved back towards the building when the door suddenly opened revealing the man himself.

"Dean!" Castiel shouted running towards him and jumping at him. Dean clung to him hard when Castiel sobbed into his neck.

"I had visions of you running back inside" Dean murmured in relief when Castiel trembled and pulled back.

"Lily?"

Dean shook his head looking over to Victor who nodded once turning towards his team.

"She was adamant, Cas, I couldn't without…" he trailed off when Castiel looked at the building. Dean looked too and they could only wait for the inevitable.

**~0~**

Lily choked falling onto the ground unable to breathe anymore, her vision swirled and her hearing dimmed. Tears fell down her cheeks and eyes as she stared at the match; she looked up slowly and gasped sharply. Lily didn't know if it was her own twisted mind, the gas, or real as she stared at Mark.

Loose dark curls fell on his forehead as he looked at her cross-legged on the floor.

"You're here" she whispered in surprise. Mark didn't answer as he reached forward brushing a curl away from her forehead and watched her in concern.

"I have to do this" she murmured holding them up. "Don't I?"

Mark moved his hand and cupped her wrist softly with a small nod. Lily gasped at the cold touch and looked down at her wrist and back up to nothing; she looked around desperately and knew it was a sign. Lily straightened up tossing back her curls and held the match against the box with trembling hands. With a soft exhale and a strike that sparked the light, Lily's world erupted into fire, pain, and then…silence.

**A/N: She was always going to die before I get protests. **

**Enjoy, folks, and do not fret! Everything will be resolved, Balthazar, Pamela/Jo, and so on.**


	12. Chapter 12

Dean stared across at the burning building of UCSF holding Castiel against him firmly. His hand trailed into the softness of his hair while the other wrapped around him pressing him tightly against his chest. Castiel fisted one hand into his jacket resting into his neck, silent tears ran down his face unnoticed and he let out a small moan.

"You okay?" Dean murmured closing his eyes inhaling the smell of his aftershave.

"No, I just want to go home" Castiel murmured against the skin of his neck. The surrounding area was filled with strangers, students, and teachers who had heard what happened. The fire brigade was busy controlling the flames to get inside and see if there was any bodies including Lily's who was well and truly dead.

"I hope she found her happiness" Castiel whispered looking over to the university. "How could I not have noticed her pain, Dean?"

"She was a good actress" Dean whispered stroking his hand down his cheek.

"I should have known!" he hissed and whimpered in despair. "I need to go home"

"Okay, okay, stay here" he murmured brushing a kiss over his lips and walking over to Victor who was talking to an FBI.

"Victor, we're heading off"

"We need to question you both"

"Well…we've been through hell, literally, and I want to take him back to our home so he can sleep" Dean replied sharply. "Contact us tomorrow"

Victor sighed when he handed him his mobile number. "Fine"

"Good man"

Dean turned on his heel back to Castiel who gladly accepted his hand as they walked away from the sight. They caught a cab and sat in comfortable silence while Dean comforted Castiel so he was nestled against him crying on and off.

"It's okay" Dean whispered clutching him tightly and protectively. "It's all over now, Cas"

Castiel swallowed looking up to him. "We need to go to hospital"

"What? Why?"

"Your head, Dean"

"It's fine, just a little cut" Dean muttered touching the back of his head gingerly. "How's the hand?"

"Sore"

Dean grimaced looking at the sore and red line across his palm feeling a little sick.

"It'll heal" he murmured pressing his lips over it tasting blood and moving away to look at him. Castiel's eyes were watery and red rimmed from lack of sleep, trauma, and something unknown to him.

"She said she was sorry"

"I don't hate her, I couldn't hate her if I tried, Dean" he murmured resting his head on his shoulder. "She was just sick and I didn't notice she was constantly on alert and smiling. How could I have turned a blind eye? How did we not know it was her, Dean?"

"She was subtle" he murmured reaching for his wallet and pulling out notes to chuck at the driver and helping him out of the car. Castiel trailed after him clinging to his hand as he led the way up the stairs. Dean opened the door letting him in and they were greeted by a scamper of claws as Gem ran towards them.

Castiel scooped her up and sighed walking inside.

"Home sweet home" he murmured looking around. "It's strange to think I would have never seen this again"

"Don't talk like that, Cas"

"It's true, Dean! Lily was all set for killing me"

Dean closed his eyes locking the door and threw the keys in the bowl at the side.

"Lily heard voices in her head that controlled her, she was a sick girl, Cas, and her sickness killed her in the end" Dean replied turning to face her. "She wouldn't have killed you because I got there in time"

"What if you hadn't?"

"Why are you questioning it? It's over, Cas, this is over"

Castiel swallowed stroking Gem and placing her on the bed. "Because she didn't deserve to die"

"No, she didn't but what she did to you is and will always be unforgiveable in my eyes" Dean spat kicking off his shoes and undressing. "She nearly killed you spiking your drink and tonight, I can't deal with that"

"My life is constantly under threat"

"Yeah, I'm sick of it"

Dean sighed loudly and dropped on the bed. Castiel watched him and stripped off his own clothing and dropped down moving into his arms, Dean held him close pressing his nose into his hair.

"I heard you in the cupboard" he whispered. "You really do love me don't you?"

"Yeah, so much it scares the hell out of me"

"True love" he whispered looking up to him. "Am I seriously the only one for you? There is six billion people on this planet, Dean"

"There is, that's a lot of people and a lot of good times but the problem is I'm not gay and I'm not straight and I'm not even bi-sexual"

"What are you?"

Dean smirked and looked over to him. "I'm Cas-sexual"

Castiel cocked his head regarding him and snorted with laughter flicking him hard.

"Dean"

"Cas"

"Cas-sexual? Really?"

"Yes, it's not very common at all, one in a billion actually, and I was the very lucky person to get it" he murmured pulling him onto his chest. "I got you"

"No, I got you" Castiel said trailing his hands into the short brown hair. "How was I so lucky?"

"No idea"

"I was walking into a high school, nervous, excited, and most of all scared…I didn't expect the most gorgeous teacher in the world to come on down"

"Oh really?" Dean murmured appraising him.

"I would be nothing without you, Dean, and you have saved me in more ways than one including tonight"

"Right back at ya" he murmured kissing him softly. "Now I want you to sleep"

"I agree"

Dean rolled him back over wrapping his arms around him so he nestled comfortably at his side and held him close till he felt Castiel relax under his touch and drift off. Dean watched him closely searching his face for any sign of distress and prepared for another sleepless night. It was one thing after another with them and he prayed deep down to his core that this was over. Their lives were filled with drama and both had been through enough.

**~0~**

The next morning was a busy and boring start with cops arriving and questioning them about everything. Dean confessed everything he knew along with Castiel as they sat together on the sofa.

"She lost the only one she loved, Lily told me he died and she blamed herself for his death…she had no real family" Castiel said quietly. Dean looked over to him in concern.

"I don't blame her for her actions against us, she was just sick"

"The stalking was a little extreme"

"Dean"

"It's true and you know it!"

After the cops left thanking them and informing them they would be in touch, Castiel took off to bed and shut the door on Dean. He stared at the wooden door and covered his eyes pulling out his phone dialling Sam's number.

"Hey?"

"Hey, Sam, it's me"

"I know, what's up?"

"Where do I start?" he murmured. "We found our stalker"

"What? Who was it?"

"Cas' friend, Lily Grace, she was stalking us both because she wanted me…I reminded her of her dead boyfriend, she saw him in me and wanted me. Lily was fully prepared to kill to get it"

Silence answered him and he blinked startled. "Sam?"

"Sorry, yeah, just…speechless" he murmured. "Jess said get on Skype"

"Fine" Dean said hanging up and moving off to the computer and loading it up. Ten minutes later he was faced with a very confused and pained, Jess and Sam.

"Is she locked up?"

"Worse, blew herself up" he murmured running a hand over his forehead feeling an upcoming headache. "Turned on all the gas taps and struck a light…I only just managed to get out in time"

"Holy shit" Jess breathed leaning forward. "How's Cas?"

"Quiet and he kept waking up from nightmares last night…he's closing up already"

"It's just shock" Jess reassured.

"Do me a favour?"

"Anything"

"Tell Gabriel and Anna, I can't deal with all their questions again"

"Okay?" Sam murmured with a raised eyebrow. "They are concerned though, they were hoping Cas would contact them"

"Well…he's currently in the bedroom ignoring me" he murmured with a sigh.

"Just give him time, Dean" she said and looked over her shoulder to Maisie and Daniel. "The babies want to say hi"

"Bring them here"

Maisie and Daniel suddenly came into view waving and smiling without a care in the world.

"How are my two favourite people in the whole wide world?" he teased and held his hand to the screen touching it to join Maisie. His heart fluttered in longing and he smiled when Daniel brought up his car chatting wildly and Maisie sucked her thumb waving.

"Gem?" Maisie shouted down the screen.

"She's sleeping, sweetheart" he said with a small smile. "But you can see her soon"

"Uncle Dean, where is Uncle Cas?" Daniel shouted also.

"Sleeping, mate"

"Not anymore"

Dean turned to see Castiel walk in and drop down on his knee to wave at Maisie and Daniel who waved animatedly at him. Jess grabbed them both and passed them to Sam who pulled them into a big bear hug so they squealed.

"How are you feeling, Cas? Dean told us…I can't believe it!"

"I'm okay, thank you, and yes…it was a surprise to both of us but Lily was a sick girl" Castiel said looking over to Dean who grimaced in concern. "She needed help and we didn't see that"

Jess frowned in sympathy tapping her nails on the keyboard gently.

"Well at least it's over" she whispered.

Castiel nodded pressing his head against Dean's who clasped their hands together.

"Uncle Cas" Maisie said coming to view and holding up a toy cat. "Gem"

Castiel smiled at her and nodded. "We promise to bring her next time we come up to see you all"

"Yay!" she squealed looking at Jess who laughed and scooped her up.

"You need to come down soon though" Jess injected pointing a finger at them both. "They miss you like crazy"

"I miss them" Dean murmured wistfully. Castiel glanced at him watching his expression light up when the children came into view again waving and shouting their goodbyes.

"I'll call soon" Dean reassured Jess and Sam who signed off. Dean let out a tired sigh looking up to Castiel and squeezing his hand.

"How are you doing?"

"I'm okay, I had a little think"

"Yeah?"

"I can't keep mulling over this, hating myself for not seeing her pain and her sickness…it's over now and she's at peace" Castiel said. "We can move on with our lives"

"That's life, baby"

"I know"

Dean led him over to the sofa turning on the TV and lying down with Castiel tucked against him. It was content for a while, Castiel stayed against Dean thinking deeply while Dean stared at the programme uninterested. A loud demanding knock startled them both.

Dean kissed Castiel's forehead softly before jumping up and moving over to the door.

"Your angels have arrived".

**~0~**

Castiel gasped in surprise when Jo and Pamela walked in and looked around.

"It's changed since we last saw it!" Pamela said outraged and gasped when Castiel jumped up hugging them both tightly.

"We heard what happened; it's all over the news!" Jo said sitting down. "Explain"

"We were stalked, Lily wanted Dean for herself because he reminded her of her dead boyfriend…she was ill and I didn't see it"

"Sick bitch"

"Pam!" Jo said slapping her knee.

"I don't care! Stalking? That's sick"

Castiel eyed her and smiled pointing at her bump. "I can't believe you're pregnant"

Pamela smiled secretly smoothing her hand over her little bump. "I know, I freaked out but…now it feels real and I'm going to be a mommy"

"Godmother" Jo said with a smirk glancing at Pamela who winked at her.

"Who's the father?" Dean said sitting down next to him.

Pamela swallowed and shrugged. "Two potential fathers"

Dean chuckled shaking his head. "Pamela"

"I know! Save the lecture, Deano"

"Not saying a word" he murmured flashing a look at Castiel who rolled his eyes at him.

"I'm sorry for my ass of a boyfriend"

"Four years" Jo breathed. "Why can you two hold a relationship and I can't?"

"Because we're clever"

"Because we love each other" Castiel replied looking at Dean who smirked.

"Cute! So when's the wedding?"

"What wedding?"

"Oh come on! You're not engaged?"

"No" Dean said shaking his head bemused and got up moving into the kitchen to make tea and coffee.

"Seriously!" Pamela said looking at Castiel who scratched the back of his head nervously.

"Pam" he hissed in a warning voice. Jo narrowed her eyes at Pamela who shrugged and sat back.

"Why are you down here?" Castiel said quickly changing the subject.

"I told you! I booked tickets and Pamela wanted to come with since she can't travel soon because of the baby"

"Good, it's so good to see you both"

"It's so good to see you! California of all places, you lucky bastards" Pamela hissed at them both. "I swear I am moving here like Balthazar"

"Where is he?"

"Hotel in town…he's sorting his life out" Castiel murmured looking over to Dean who ignored his gaze. Dean moodily threw the teabag in the bin.

"Oh" Jo murmured biting her lip in guilt. "So what are you going to do about university?"

"No idea, they haven't called me yet"

"Doctor Cas, it sounds good" Pamela said and hid a laugh.

Dean flicked the back of her head as he passed her an orange juice, Jo a cup of coffee, and Castiel his special tea.

"He'll be amazing and you know it, Pamela" he said with a tut.

The conversation moved on as they discussed jobs, old friends, and their past. It was comfortable, content, and it made Castiel happy for now. His eyes roamed over to Dean who was listening to Jo talking about the guy she dated a while back. His heart thundered gently in his chest as he looked over him and he knew what Dean wanted.

Castiel saw the longing in Dean's eyes when he talked with the children on Skype, the way his expression changed when Pamela mentioned marriage, it was everything Dean wanted and life was so short. Castiel needed to give it to him.

**~0~**

It was 10pm when Dean yawned looking down at Castiel lying on his chest. Pamela and Jo had left only hours before going to stay in a motel across the road.

"Bed?"

"Yeah, just…" he said sitting up and holding up his hand. "One minute"

Dean frowned confused sitting up carefully waiting for him to continue.

"Dean, life is far too short and we know this now" he murmured. "Lily taking her own life, her losing the one she loved so much and never having the future she wanted from him has made me realise a few things"

"What things?"

"That I want a future with you, I want whatever you want, Dean, and I know you want children and marriage"

"Cas" Dean said with a sigh sitting up and looking up at him. "You're not thinking properly"

"Oh I am"

"No you're not; this whole thing with Lily has just scared you"

"Yes, it's terrified me, Dean, but for the right reasons because I need you, I need us to have our own little happy ending"

Dean closed his eyes amused. "They don't exist"

"Well why can't we have a sliver of it?" he whispered crawling up to him. "Imagine….a little baby boy or girl, our little baby, Dean"

"Stop it"

"Why can't we be a family?"

"Because we're not women"

"So? There is adoption and surrogacy, Dean, and I saw how you were with Maisie and Daniel"

"They're my niece and nephew, Cas, I love them" Dean argued.

"You want your own child, Dean"

"I do…but when we're both ready"

"I am ready"

"You're scared of not having a future or losing me"

"Yes I am but I still want a family with you, Dean, I want to start something"

Dean sighed rolling his eyes. "I don't believe you"

"Why not?"

"Because you're freaking out"

Castiel pressed his lips together and nodded. "Okay"

Dean narrowed his eyes watching him get up and move away from him. Castiel got ready for bed and slid under the cold covers. Dean quickly followed and stood in the doorway with a questioning tilt to his head.

"You're telling the truth aren't you?"

"Why would I be lying?"

"Because I want to make sure you are 100 per cent sure, Cas, that's why" he muttered stripping off and moving under the covers wrapping an arm around him and turning him around. Castiel looked up to him and stared into his eyes.

"Four years together, Dean, that's a long time and if we want to make a future for ourselves we have to start somewhere"

Dean regarded him for a long moment and captured his lips in a fierce kiss. "Tell me this isn't some horrible messed up joke"

"Dean"

"I know, I know, but countless daydreams are about to come true, Cas"

Castiel smiled when he shifted moving in between his legs licking a stripe down his neck and nuzzling it softly.

"We've been through too much, Dean, it's time to move on from all the horrors of the past and think of that future, think of our little forbidden fairy tale" he whispered trailing his fingers down his stubble. Dean nodded giving him a wide smile.

"I love you, Cas"

Castiel gave a small smile trailing his hands into his hair and closing his eyes resting against his cheek.

"I love you too"

Everyone deserves a happy ending whether it's small, large, or unthinkable. They're rare but they can be found if you search hard enough, find the right partner, and know what you both want. They had this; it was just about finding and claiming it.

**A/N: One more chapter left and the end!**

**I am sorry to anyone who feels like this was rushed because all my sequels are short. This is like an insight to the years into their future. So if anyone feels like this is rushed it kinda is but it kinda isn't.**

**ALSO: After this I have an idea for a brand new fic but as my faithful readers I want your opinion. I don't know why but I want to write this. **

**Destiel Titanic – Yes or No? I've never read a completed one. **

**Feedback for this would be amazing! **


	13. Chapter 13

**Two years later. **

Castiel stared at the kitchen wall in a daydream not noticing Dean creep up on him and wrap his arms around his waist placing his chin on his shoulder.

"Unless he suddenly starts walking and surprises us, again, then you better snap out of staring at our wall and feed him" Dean murmured tickling his sides. Castiel batted his hands and turned with the bottle. They turned their heads to look over to their son, seven month old Aaron John Winchester. He was stood at the bars of his playpen clinging on and watching cartoon on the television.

"He's full of surprises"

"He's practically a new-born"

"Dean" Castiel said with an eye roll handing him the bottle. Dean took it over and looked down at his baby with fluffy light brown bed hair and quizzical light green eyes look up to him.

"Sit down" he murmured gripping his wrist gently and gently pushing him down so he was sat down and handed him the bottle. "You want to lie down? Okay"

Castiel smiled at Dean who rolled his eyes picking at his overalls.

"Can't I stay here?"

"No, you missed work on Friday to be with us" Castiel replied circling his arms around his neck. "We need money"

"I'm the boss"

"Yes but we need cars to get money"

"True, smartass"

Castiel smiled at him softly kissing him back when he kissed him gently.

"What are your plans?"

"I'm going to get myself and Aaron dressed, we're going to eat breakfast…and then we're going to see a certain friend"

"Balthazar?"

"Yes" he murmured and clung to him tighter. "Dean, he's in a relationship"

"I don't care"

"You do and you know it"

"Da!" Aaron called interrupting them.

"You're wanted, dada" Dean murmured kissing him and letting him go. Dean watched him go over and pick him up talking to him softly, it made Dean's heart swell and beat a little faster every single time. This was his family, his own to protect and love no matter what, it made him feel proud.

"Say bye - bye to papa" Castiel said waving his little hand at him.

"Don't do that, I'm trying to leave" Dean groaned walking over and smiling when Aaron smiled at him widely. "We have the happiest baby in the world; I still say Jeanette was on drugs"

"He has a loving family with no arguments and constant love that's why"

Dean hummed pressing his lips to Aaron's forehead and looked over to Castiel. "Lunchtime?"

"We'll be there" he reassured him.

Dean snatched up his keys glancing back to them and left feeling happy. Castiel jiggled Aaron who smiled and touched his face with his hands.

"Shall we get dressed and go see Uncle Balthy?" he murmured and smiled when Aaron smiled widely in response. "Such a good boy"

After their conversation of the future two years ago, they took time out to figure out what they were going to do with their lives. With half of the university closed off for damage and repairing, Castiel finished off the course. He left with what he needed to become a doctor but he cast it aside for now. His mind was fully prepared for their future.

Dean decided they should the adoption process which Castiel protested against saying that Dean had always dreamt of having his own child, they chose surrogacy. It took months and months of sorting bills, money, and finding the appropriate agency with the appropriate surrogate. Nine months into their planning they were placed and given the choice of, Jeanette Williams. Jeanette had already given birth to three babies for other families including two of her own children. They happily accepted her who gladly accepted the role of surrogate mother for their child.

Nine months later, Aaron John Winchester was born. Castiel remembered the moment as he watched Dean take him into his arms for the very first time in the hospital room and cried silent tears.

"I don't deserve you" Dean whispered to Castiel who came over and smiled at him warmly looking down at the squirming and crying baby in his arms.

"Yes you do"

Jeanette gave up all rights for him and her only condition was the occasional picture for her photo album. Dean and Castiel kept that promise sending a photo now and again to her. There were no words from either of them of how grateful they were to have this, so many people out there craving a baby and they had one in their arms.

When Aaron was two months old, Castiel legally adopted him.

They took to parenthood like any first time parent would and it was both scary but exciting. The spare room that had mostly been neglected all the time they had lived there was turned into a blue nursery. A white cot against the wall, cuddly toy from family members dotted around the room and a changing table, it was the perfect room.

"Are you going to be a good boy?" Castiel said as he changed him into blue dungarees, a stripy top, and little white shoes. "Dada is tired because you're teething"

Aaron cooed rolling onto his stomach and attempting to crawl away.

"Ah no" he murmured catching him and kissing his cheek gently. "We have a busy day today and tomorrow"

"Dada"

"What?" Castiel said scooping him up.

"Cat"

Castiel looked over to Gem lounging on her bed. After much arguing and debating over whether they kept Gem with a baby around. Gem surprised them both by accepting Aaron and forming her own little protective bond and often stayed still and accepted it when Aaron became fascinated with her.

"Gem is sleeping"

"Cat"

"No, no, Aaron" he said when he squirmed and whined in his arms. Castiel took him out and grabbed his car seat placing him in and passing him his favourite teddy bear.

"Right… off we go"

**~0~**

Balthazar looked up when Castiel walked in and raised an eyebrow at him.

"I'm still not used to this"

"What?"

"You carrying around Aaron, being a parent, in a very long term relationship"

"Six years" Castiel murmured with a smile clapping his hands at Aaron who laughed clapping back.

Balthazar smirked looking down at the table and looked up when Castiel turned to face him.

"So are you going to tell me what happened?"

"We broke up" he replied with a shrug.

"Why?"

"Because the little cow cheated on me" he hissed and sighed. "Cheated on me with her friend"

"Oh" Castiel murmured breaking a bit of cookie and handing it to Aaron who grabbed it and pushed it into his mouth.

"But I am with someone else?"

"Who?"

"His name is Rick" he murmured with a soft smile. "We've been dating on and off for two weeks now"

"Do you like him?"

"I suppose but it's difficult"

Castiel swallowed looking over to Aaron who was smacking his lips for more. Castiel handed a bit over and glanced at him.

"Why?"

"You know why"

"Balthazar…"

"Look, you are and will always be the guy I can never ever have but the only guy I can truly love…but I'm trying. I don't think girls are for me"

"You dated Carly for more than three months!"

"Vagina is clearly not for me"

Castiel blinked looking to Aaron who held out his arms with a cry and struggled against his straps.

"Okay, okay" he murmured undoing the straps and pulling him out so he was standing on his lap. Balthazar smiled gently at Aaron who reached over pulling hard on Castiel's hair.

"No" he said placing him down on his lap. "He's in a faze"

"Babies" he murmured with a shake of his head.

"Do you not want children?"

"No" Balthazar said quickly. "It suits me fine to watch my dear friend with his own child"

"Do you want to hold him?" Castiel questioned holding him out for Balthazar who grimaced grabbing hold of him. Castiel watched as Aaron stared up at him in awe and confusion.

"Pa"

"What?" Balthazar said looking over to Castiel.

"He wants Dean" Castiel murmured amused sipping the already bought coffee. "He's becoming clingy lately"

Balthazar hummed eyeing Aaron who smiled and clapped his hands. Castiel felt a warm glow in his heart and mentally planned in his head what they would need for their trip up to Washington tomorrow to see Jess, Sam, and other friends. They hadn't been there since their visit to Gabriel and Anna nearly a month ago. Anna who was now married to her co-worker, Grey Smith, was very happy for the both of them; Gabriel was now the head of his own company and still single.

"Hello?" Balthazar said shaking a hand into his face. "Come on, dolly daydream, wake up"

"Sorry, we're going back up to Washington tomorrow and I still have to pack" he murmured rubbing his forehead.

"When did you take control of mommy?"

"What?"

"You do everything"

"Because I'm happy to" Castiel replied holding out his hands for Aaron who happily came back leaning against his shoulder. Castiel tapped his nappy and tilted his head to look at him and frowned thoughtfully at his red cheeks.

"Teeth hurting?" he murmured grabbing his pacifier and popping it into his mouth. "Such a good boy aren't you, Aaron"

Castiel cuddled him close stroking his hair and was proud to admit that he took the role of fatherhood into his stride. He loved every single moment and didn't regret asking Dean for this so soon after Lily's death. It baffled him how scared he was at the mere thought of raising a child; it was now as easy as breathing. His heart was filled with an overwhelming love he felt for Dean and for the child they raised together.

After saying their goodbyes, Castiel did a last minute shop and arrived outside the garage at lunchtime.

"Hey, superhero" Castiel called and smiled when Dean turned and wiped his greasy hands, Castiel nodded at his co-worker, Janine who waved and grinned at Aaron.

"Hey" Dean murmured kissing him hello and dropping down undoing the straps and bringing Aaron out to his level. "How's my boy?"

"Good, a little irritated with his teeth but he's being good" Castiel said thoughtfully. "Balthazar says his hellos"

"I bet he does" Dean murmured bitterly looking at Aaron. "How's the girlfriend?"

"Apparently over, he is now dating a man called Rick"

"Seriously?"

"Deadly"

Dean raised an eyebrow and sighed deeply. "All packed for tomorrow?"

"No, I'll do it when he goes down for his nap"

"Okay, I'll be home at five and I'll cook"

"You better you will"

Dean grinned at him amused and lifted Aaron in the air who squealed and kicked his legs looking down at him.

"Super baby!" he called and made whooshing noises to make it look like he flying.

"You two are seriously adorable" Janine said leaning against the car. "You're making me broody"

"Carlos not ready to have children I'm guessing"

"No way" she said with a snort. "Not even engagement can get him to produce the sperms"

Castiel chuckled when she turned and ducked back under the car.

"He's due a nap" Castiel said looking at Dean who pouted at him.

"I know but you know" he murmured making a funny face at Aaron who smiled touching his face and kicking his legs. "Fine, take him away from me"

"Hilarious" Castiel murmured drily. "See you later"

"Yeah" Dean said fluttering at his fingers at them and turned to Janine who leaned against the car folding her arms.

"My god, you are a proper little family man aren't you?"

"Are you judging my forbidden fairy tale?"

"Never in a million years" Janine replied with a laugh. Dean smirked looking outside and grabbed the wrench starting work again.

Dean arrived home at five ready for good food and sleep. The door opened and he heard nothing but silence and walked into see Castiel dozing on the sofa with Aaron fast asleep in his arms. Dean bit his lip dropping his keys gently in the bowl and stood admiring them for a long moment before dropping down and kissing Castiel's forehead.

"Huh, what?" he mumbled opening his eyes and finding Dean. "What are you doing here?"

"It's five, Cas, and looks like someone is exhausted" he whispered pointing at Aaron nestled against his chest.

"He wouldn't nap…I haven't packed"

"I'll do it" Dean reassured and very carefully took Aaron out of his arms who snuffled and rested his head on his shoulder. "I'll put him to bed"

"You're a star"

"I know" Dean whispered with a wink walking away and into the nursery.

Castiel smiled stretching out and shutting his eyes feeling his muscles sigh in relief and all he wanted was sleep. Dean dropped him slowly in the cot watching him rest and stir a little before settling down and sucking on his pacifier, he smiled trailing a hand into the soft brown hair and walked back out.

"I think we're blessed" Dean murmured dropping down next to Castiel who opened them questioningly.

"Why?"

"Well we have the most gorgeous little boy who sleeps on cue, who is good as gold and I seriously think we have something or someone looking out for him" Dean said thoughtfully.

"Maybe" Castiel murmured shutting his eyes again.

"I better pack hadn't I?"

"Yes"

"Want to help me?"

"No"

Dean rolled his eyes amused and jumped up walking into the bedroom collecting three days' worth of clothes. Dean shoved them in a suitcase and stood back with a nod.

"Dean, what are you doing?" Castiel murmured peering in and pulling out a red shirt. "I don't even wear this"

"Oh"

"Go make food" Castiel ordered pointing at the door and smiled softly when he kissed him hard and moved out of the bedroom. Castiel repacked and zipped it up kinda apprehensive and excited for tomorrow.

**~0~**

"Going to be a man about it?" Dean said strapping him in the car seat. "We have a long ass journey, Aaron"

Aaron squirmed and protested with a whimper but was settled when Dean stuck in his pacifier and looked over to Castiel who came around to join him at the car.

"Janine has Gem, we are all packed, and now we are ready to go"

"Good" Dean said snatching the keys and climbing into the driving seat.

The journey up to Washington was tiring for all three of them with a bored Aaron sobbing in the back half of the journey and Castiel attempting to calm him down. They arrived outside of Sam and Jess's with Aaron sleeping against Castiel and Dean groaning into the steering wheel.

"We have a drive back"

"It'll be fine" Castiel reassured and climbed out of the car heading towards the door.

"Hello!" Jess said opening the door. Four year old, Maisie joined her whilst eight year old, Daniel, sat on the couch waiting patiently. "Oh there's my nephew"

Castiel handed him over and smiled when Jess cooed cuddling him close.

"How was the journey up?"

"Awful" Dean said in a tired voice as they walked inside. "Hey Dano"

"Dano?" Sam questioned getting up and hugging him back.

"Shut up, Sammy"

Daniel smiled up at them both amused. "Hey, Uncle Dean"

"So how are things in Washington?"

"Well…we're doing okay" Jess said swaying with Aaron who stared up at her. "He looks so much like you, Dean"

"He does doesn't he?" Castiel murmured affectionately. "No, I heard that Jo is on an all around the world trip, Pamela and her baby, Josie, are in Florida?"

"You heard correct" Jess confirmed. "I also heard that Ash is in China still"

"Seriously?"

"Yes, met a woman" Jess said with a wink and placed Aaron on the floor who crawled across it quickly. "Wow, he's a quick learner"

Dean hummed watching him closely. Castiel wandered upstairs with the bag claiming to unpack and Dean watched him closely.

"Can I take him out? I know you have only just got here and this is sudden…but…." Jess said. "I want to show him off! We'll only go the park and I did promise, Maisie"

"Sure" Dean muttered surprised pointing at the pram which Sam folded out after some difficulty. "He may be moody"

"I can handle moody, I have two children" Jess said strapping in Aaron who smiled up at her.

"I have work" Sam said with a sigh picking up his coat. "See you later"

Sam kissed Jess and the children goodbye whilst an excited and reluctant, Maisie and Daniel, got their own coats.

"Want to come?"

Dean inhaled and pressed his lips together. "No, go show him off and show him his old roots…I'll help Cas unpack"

Jess raised an eyebrow at him surprised and nodded. "We'll be back soon!"

Dean nodded waving and watching the four of them go down the garden path; he didn't waste a moment as he shut the door and darted upstairs. Castiel was unpacking slowly when arms wound around him and spun him around, he gasped when Dean kissed hard and passionately.

"What…?"

"Jess is taking our son to the park"

"So soon?"

"She's an overexcited auntie" Dean said brushing it off. "I told her that I would help my lovely boyfriend unpack but what I really meant was have much needed hard-core sex"

Castiel laughed suddenly when he shoved him back. "Horny, Dean?"

"Cas, we haven't had sex in five days!"

"So?"

Dean groaned straddling his waist. "Just shut up and get naked"

Castiel moaned helplessly when Dean stripped them both of their clothing till they were naked and lying intertwined on the bedcover. Dean moaned at the friction between their bare skin as he grinded his hips down on Castiel's hips, Castiel gasped when Dean's hard cock rubbed against his.

"Dean" he moaned breathless when Dean kissed frantically down his neck and chest.

"You're so gorgeous" he whispered licking a warm tongue over his nipple.

"Dean, please" Castiel pleaded gripping his forearms and spreading his legs wider as Dean grabbed his jeans snatching up the lube and coating his fingers. Castiel gaped arching and rocking his hips up to thrust back into his fingers when he sheathed them inside him. Dean wriggled them wide enough for his own cock and removed them quickly eager to be inside him.

Castiel moaned at the heat and pleasure as Dean gripped his hips tight pushing the head inch by inch deep inside him till he was balls deep.

"Dean, god yes!" Castiel shouted when he rocked into him hard thrusting his hips and slamming deep inside him hitting that _spot. _It was frantic, fast, and most of all passionate as the bed rocked underneath them, the headboard slammed against the wall and the air was filled with the sounds of their moans.

"I love you!" Castiel gasped out as he climaxed coating Dean's chest in his come. Dean moaned breathlessly when his hips stuttered and he let out his orgasm deep inside him, his arms gave out as he slumped against his sticky chest. Castiel cradled the back of his head hearing his own heartbeat in his ears, feeling the sweat that covered his body cool enough to chill him, and Dean breathed heavily into his neck.

"That was amazing" Castiel murmured. "I love it when you're a horny mess"

"Good" Dean whispered kissing him slow and sensual. Castiel responded wrapping his legs around his waist as they kissed slowly. It was perfect for Dean who moaned low in his throat sliding his hands into his sweaty but soft hair.

"They'll be back soon" Castiel murmured with a gasp when Dean sucked a path across his collarbone.

"Better make it worth our while" he murmured thrusting back inside him and smiling when Castiel gasped shocked and moaned throatily.

Jess arrived back half an hour later much to Dean's disappointment as they lay in a sweaty sex haze and heard Aaron wailing.

"Duty calls" Castiel said with a chuckle as they dressed quickly and went downstairs to re-join the family.

**~0~**

It was early in the morning that next day when Dean opened his eyes feeling tired but satisfied. His eyes found Castiel who was stood at the cot with a wide awake Aaron who was babbling to him.

"Cas?" he murmured sleepily.

Castiel turned surprised and walked over with Aaron in tow. Dean opened the quilt welcoming his body heat and smiling at Aaron who was in the middle of them lying on his back sucking on his fist.

"It baffles me sometimes" Dean murmured.

"What does?"

"How lucky I really am" he whispered. "Six years ago I was a simple history teacher with no relationship, no future, and I had no you. You've changed me, Cas, for the better"

"Other way around" Castiel murmured leaning against the headboard. "You saved my life, Dean"

"After endless bad luck" Dean muttered and tickled Aaron's tummy as he giggled kicking his legs in the air staring up at the ceiling. "We deserve this, we deserve our sliver of happiness, baby"

"I know" Castiel said reaching up and stroking a hand across his cheek softly, Dean leaned into it and watched him carefully.

"I know something though"

"What?" he murmured softly.

"That I love you and Aaron, endlessly"

Castiel gave him a small smile picking up Aaron and holding him close. "Forever is a long time"

"We have forever" Dean whispered leaning towards him and kissing him. Castiel instantly responded and chuckled pulling back when Aaron placed his hands on their faces smiling letting his pacifier drop out.

"We're not perfect but …you're perfect for me" Castiel murmured pressing his forehead against Dean's who rolled his eyes at him amused at the cheesiness. It took six years, two exorcisms, a shooting, three near death experiences, and a stalking that nearly killed them both to reach their "happily ever after" because sometimes there is no such thing but when you get a sliver and a promise of endless love just for you then you'll take and expect it for what it is. What was once a forbidden love story is now a tale of endless love.

The End.

**A/N: This is it! The end of Forbidden and Endlessly, thank you so, so, so, much for every single review whether it was good or bad. You guys did this, you make me write. **

**After much positive feedback, I will be writing a Destiel Titanic which should be hopefully up in a few days if I can get it right. **


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